Rantings of the Mad Sylvan.

2003-09-12T16:06:00.000-07:00

Well, blogger and I seem to have some disagreements about when to post things, so I'm just gonna try this once. If it takes four days for Blogger to realize I posted, oh well.

Just a quick note to let you all know I have arrived at my destination.
E-mail access is somewhat restricted owing to demand, so if you send me a
note it may be a week or two before i can get to it, but i plan to try to
keep current.

If anyone wishes to contact me via good old fashioned snail mail, send it
to the following:

James M. Hinton
B co. 193 AVN FWD (AVIM)
APO, AE 09355

Well, how about some quick impressions.

It's different here. Just as dry, dusty, and brown as the TV leads you to
believe. Not quite as hot though. Only upper 90's today. Still, the
dust is everywhere, gets into everything.

Living in a tent city, but that was expected. Still, it's not
unreasonable. They have A/C and wooden floors, so they're almost
comfortable. I've certainly lived in worse. Food is merely so-so, but
what can I say? It's Army food. So-So is high marks. The locals look
just like you'd expect from the pictures on TV. Kind of trippy, first
time you see some of them and catch yourself thinking, "Hey! Aint those
some of the... Nah. Not if they're here." Course, you still find
yourself looking over your shoulder at them.

Anyway, I'll put together over time a much more complete impression and
picture for you. Probably take me several days, what with the limited
time and all. Just thought you all should know I'm alive and doing well.

Sgt. J. Hinton

2003-09-07T11:29:00.000-07:00

Recent e-mail I sent. As usual, if anyone wishes to recieve these e-mails, contact me at jhinton@rmci.net

Well, I figure one last ramble from me before I cross the pond. Been a
bit, figured you all were wondering.

Well, first, let me get this off my chest, cause it's been bothering me.
Last night a large group of us went to a bar for a while. The bouncer at
the front door scrupulously stares at the ID of the gal in front of the
group, the guy behind her, the guy behind him, the guy in front of me...
takes one look at me and waves me through without checking mine.

Ouch. That really hurts.

Was rather a fun evening otherwise. I was the Designated Driver, so I got
all the free soda I could swill, and had a good time watching all the
drunks suddenly discovering they were actually funny, attractive, and
excellent dancers. Heh. Good times.

Anyway, pretty quiet for the most part. Spent quite a bit of time sitting
around waiting for others to cut my orders, get my travel plans arranged,
etc. Then all of a sudden things kicked into high gear. Next thing I
know folk are running me all over to ensure we had all our orders, gear,
shots, equipment, etc. Good thing, too. Turns out someone dropped the
ball and had forgotten to process our requests for the chem suits. Got
that fixed, but had to step on a few toes to do so. /shrug.

Anyway, we're good to go, have a date to get over there, and everything.
Next note the Mad Man sends from Asia will actually come from Asia.

-Sgt. J.

2003-09-06T09:32:00.000-07:00

Another e-mail I just sent out. If you wish to be added to the e-mail list, contact me at jhinton@rmci.net

Well, I figure one last ramble from me before I cross the pond. Been a
bit, figured you all were wondering.

Well, first, let me get this off my chest, cause it's been bothering me.
Last night a large group of us went to a bar for a while. The bouncer at
the front door scrupulously stares at the ID of the gal in front of the
group, the guy behind her, the guy behind him, the guy in front of me...
takes one look at me and waves me through without checking mine.

Ouch. That really hurts.

Was rather a fun evening otherwise. I was the Designated Driver, so I got
all the free soda I could swill, and had a good time watching all the
drunks suddenly discovering they were actually funny, attractive, and
excellent dancers. Heh. Good times.

Anyway, pretty quiet for the most part. Spent quite a bit of time sitting
around waiting for others to cut my orders, get my travel plans arranged,
etc. Then all of a sudden things kicked into high gear. Next thing I
know folk are running me all over to ensure we had all our orders, gear,
shots, equipment, etc. Good thing, too. Turns out someone dropped the
ball and had forgotten to process our requests for the chem suits. Got
that fixed, but had to step on a few toes to do so. /shrug.

Anyway, we're good to go, have a date to get over there, and everything.
Next note the Mad Man sends from Asia will actually come from Asia.

-Sgt. J.

2003-09-05T17:08:00.000-07:00

E-mail I just sent out. Once again, anyone interested in being added to my e-mail ramblings from overseas, drop me a note at jhinton@rmci.net

Well, I figure one last ramble from me before I cross the pond. Been a
bit, figured you all were wondering.

Well, first, let me get this off my chest, cause it's been bothering me.
Last night a large group of us went to a bar for a while. The bouncer at
the front door scrupulously stares at the ID of the gal in front of the
group, the guy behind her, the guy behind him, the guy in front of me...
takes one look at me and waves me through without checking mine.

Ouch. That really hurts.

Was rather a fun evening otherwise. I was the Designated Driver, so I got
all the free soda I could swill, and had a good time watching all the
drunks suddenly discovering they were actually funny, attractive, and
excellent dancers. Heh. Good times.

Anyway, pretty quiet for the most part. Spent quite a bit of time sitting
around waiting for others to cut my orders, get my travel plans arranged,
etc. Then all of a sudden things kicked into high gear. Next thing I
know folk are running me all over to ensure we had all our orders, gear,
shots, equipment, etc. Good thing, too. Turns out someone dropped the
ball and had forgotten to process our requests for the chem suits. Got
that fixed, but had to step on a few toes to do so. /shrug.

Anyway, we're good to go, have a date to get over there, and everything.
Next note the Mad Man sends from Asia will actually come from Asia.

2003-09-04T10:47:00.000-07:00

"Sweet Dreams" (by Eurythmics)
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused

Which 80's Song Fits You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Thanks to Lauren.

2003-08-30T09:51:00.000-07:00

Oops. Noticed I forgot to post my latest rambling earlier this week. So here it is. Again, this was originally an e-mail. If you wish to be added to the mailing list, contactme at jhinton@rmci.net

Well, first let me start with a big whoops! I meant to hit Bcc instead
of Cc on that last note, so sorry for those of you who prefer your
e-mail address not attract spam. Heh.

Anyway, a quick little update. I'm still here in the states. We're
pretty much ready to go, simply waiting on a ride at this point. That's
being worked on.

Hmm... Ok, how about some amusing little notes. First, I am now Combat
Life Saver Certified. That means I can now stick people with needles
attatched to IVs. Those of you who know me know my opinion of needles
and should be duly impressed as a result. And poor Specialist Wheeling
only lost perhaps half a pint of blood while I tried to get that darned
IV hooked up, too. (He got even. He had to stick me twice.)

Oh, and I'm sure most of you don't care, but I shot a 36 out of 40 at
the M-16 range. (It only takes 23 to qualify, FYI.) Just thought I'd
brag.

My small pox vaccination has been very entertaining. For those of you
not in the know, they essntially infect you with cow pox. (I remember
studying this in Junior High Biology.) The stuff can survive in the
human body, but just doesn't do too well. Which means you only get one
big ugly nasty sore. It's Big. It's Ugly. And it's Sore. Ow. Makes
the glands in your arm swell up uncomfortably. Fortunately it looks
like it's starting to shrink (at last!) Doesn't hurt as much as it did,
too.

Anyway, aside from class after class after class during the day, not
much to do around here. There is a small lake that makes for popular
swimming.
Went down there the other evening to cool off (get's warm and humid in
this area.) But that's about it for entertainment.

Well, that's about it.

Need one thing from y'all. Rumour has it the location I'm headed does
not have e-mail access. I have been unable to confirm or deny that, so
I have a request. Anyone interested ihn continuing to hear from me,
even if it takes snail mail to do it, get me a good mailing address and
I'll see what I can do if it proves there is no e-mail. (For close
friends and family, don't assume I have your address. It can't hurt to
confirm what few I do have.)

Thanks all.

2003-08-26T09:21:00.000-07:00

(Another e-mail I sent)

Well, first let me start with a big whoops! I meant to hit Bcc instead of Cc on that last note, so sorry for those of you who prefer your e-mail address not attract spam. Heh.

Anyway, a quick little update. I'm still here in the states. We're pretty much ready to go, simply waiting on a ride at this point. That's being worked on.

Hmm... Ok, how about some amusing little notes. First, I am now Combat Life Saver Certified. That means I can now stick people with needles attatched to IVs. Those of you who know me know my opinion of needles and should be duly impressed as a result. And poor Specialist Wheeling only lost perhaps half a pint of blood while I tried to get that darned IV hooked up, too. (He got even. He had to stick me twice.)

Oh, and I'm sure most of you don't care, but I shot a 36 out of 40 at the M-16 range. (It only takes 23 to qualify, FYI.) Just thought I'd brag.

My small pox vaccination has been very entertaining. For those of you not in the know, they essntially infect you with cow pox. (I remember studying this in Junior High Biology.) The stuff can survive in the human body, but just doesn't do too well. Which means you only get one big ugly nasty sore. It's Big. It's Ugly. And it's Sore. Ow. Makes the glands in your arm swell up uncomfortably. Fortunately it looks like it's starting to shrink (at last!) Doesn't hurt as much as it did, too.

Anyway, aside from class after class after class during the day, not much to do around here. There is a small lake that makes for popular swimming. Went down there the other evening to cool off (get's warm and humid in this area.) But that's about it for entertainment.

Well, that's about it.

Need one thing from y'all. Rumour has it the location I'm headed does not have e-mail access. I have been unable to confirm or deny that, so I have a request. Anyone interested ihn continuing to hear from me, even if it takes snail mail to do it, get me a good mailing address and I'll see what I can do if it proves there is no e-mail. (For close friends and family, don't assume I have your address. It can't hurt to confirm what few I do have.)

Thanks all.

Sgt. J.

2003-08-16T22:40:00.000-07:00

(This is a copy of an e-mail I just sent. Anyone interested in being added to the "Ramblings of the Mad Man in Asia" list, drop me an e-mail at jhinton@rmci.net .)

To some of you this will come as some surprise, to some of you it wont,
but I (Sgt. J. Hinton) am in the process of being deployed overseas again,
this time to Afghanistan. Last time I did a deployment (Bosnia) I sent
out "Ramblings from the Mad Man in Europe" to keep friends and family
posted on the goings on in my life. Some of you recieved those, some did
not. (Any one not interested in recieving such notes, please let me know
so I can remove you from my list.) In keeping with that tradition I now
am sending "Ramblings from the Mad Man in Asia."

Anyway, first a brief summary on what happened between my last "Rambling
of the Mad Man" and current events.

I returned home to my wife and four daughters and a familiar home in mid
April. This was advantagious, as we were able to celebrate my wife's
birthday together. We spent almost an entire month either vacationing or
just relaxing at home before I finally returned to my civilian employment.
It was good to be home.

I returned to my civilian employment as an installer of internet and
ethernet infrastructure (pulling in cable. No programming. It's blue
collar work in a white collar world.) I'm not fond of the work as it
tends to be filthy, difficult, and take me from home quite a bit. But it
pays the bills, and, more to the point, the company has treated me very
well in spite of multiple dissapearances due to my Guard involvment
(Capital/Airport Security in 2001/2002 and Bosnia in 2002/2003). After a
month back on the job I was, in fact, placed in a small team supervisor
position where I lead a two man team in installation work.

While I wasn't exactly perfectly content in life (Owing to the job and
too-small mobile home), but things were going well.

Then. last month came the call. A unit going to Afghanistan required some
additional personnel to make up for a lack of certain crucial skills.
Several individuals were contacted, including myself. The slots would be
filled by volunteers first (if any), then they would do what they needed
to get the necessary people. Well,when called, I volunteered to go, and
was consequently selected. My commander spoke with me several times to
make sure this was what I truly wanted to do. After all, I'd not been
home long, and had a wife and four daughters. And Afghanistan is not
exactly the safest place to vacation.

Well, last week we departed Idaho for additional training/certification
before we cross the pond. I am currently in the midwest training up.
With luck I'll be over there soon.

So, I'm sure there are a number of you wondering why I volunteered for
this. Pure insanity can't be ruled out. But in all honesty, well...

This is what I do. I'm a soldier, and I've a job to do. If that seems
simplistic, well, perhaps I'm just a simple man.

Anyway, conditions here are interesting. The post here is geared toward
mobalizing larger units, and have it down to a science. Unfortunately, we
are not a large unit. We are, in fact, so far removed from a large unit
we have, quite frankly, thrown far more than our fair share of monkey
wrenches in the system. To the credit of those who work here, they've
risen to the challenges marvelously. There have been a few minor mishaps,
but all in all, far better than expected. The one gripe I have is their
attatching us to a medical rehab unit for purpouses for lack of any real
idea what to do with such a small number of us. They needed to put us up
somewhere to sleep and for accountability, but it's a tad odd hanging
arround with people who are there simply to heal up before being put back
into service or medicalled out. (None of these folk are combat wounded,
for those curious. Simply accidental injuries or illnesses.)

Hmm. Oh, and one word of advice. If you don't need it, avoid getting
vaccinated for small pox. That darn thing itches like a somnovagun. And
will for a good week, I'm told. Not to mention the way they give you the
vaccination would give an accupuncturist nightmares. Take a really tiny
fork, dip it in the vaccine, and start stabbing away. Repeatedly. Even
the medic was traumatized.

Ow.

Anyway, enough from me for now. I'll keep y'all posted (provided I have
e-mail access over there. I assume I will, but no garuntees.)

2003-08-10T23:02:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been too long since I posted, I'm afraid. So first, a quick update.

I leave for somewhere on the east coast sometime this week. No, I won't get more specific. But it means I'll likely be unable to post for several weeks.

/shrug.

Ok, and now on to something completely different.

I promised Coriakin a reply to his comments on his blog, regarding the previous comments on my blog. I also seem to have enmeshed myself in a debate on Perkusi's blog. Well, rather than a direct reply to each, I think instead, I'll simply reply obliquely by lining out here my beliefs in general. Perhaps then folk will know where I'm coming from. I think I'll even title this for once, assuming I can figure out how.

The Right To Be Stupid

When all is said and done, the vast majority of political debate, whether it be about the form of government, what laws it enforces, how it does so, or what leanings it should have, all boils down to one simple thing. The rights of the governed. More specifically, what are these rights, and where do they come from? Whether you come from the school that believes "that [people] are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights" or that rights are granted as privilege by government to citizens who have proven themselves trustworthy, your view on what these rights are and their source are the key in deciding your view on all the rest.

That being the case, I feel it is appropriate to deliniate here my views on the rights of man. It is from these beliefs my arguments on politics stem, and it is towards these views I shape my course when supporting or opposing the policy of those both elected and appointed within the government. An understanding of these views may help those often locked in debate with me to better know why I argue as I do. While I don't expect this to convince anyone as to the merits of my causes, I do hope the understanding will, at least, cause them to more closely consider my position before dismissing it as the rantings of a hopeless radical.

What are the rights of man?

The Bill of Rights, added to the Constitution of the United States of America, are a marvelous series of rights. Many, during the original debate over them, did not wish them appended to the Constitution. They did not oppose their addition because they were, themselves, opposed to those rights, but because they feared that by adding them, others just as reasonable and valid would be brushed aside by government over time because they were not protected by the Constitution. I would have to agree with those fellows from over 200 years ago, as history has shown even those appended to the Constitution have been bent, eroded, or ignored outright at various times.

The problem the framers faced, however, was how to define their belief in the primacy of the individual and his rights over government. I believe I have found a way to describe it. It is simplistic, and not particularly straitforward or easy to apply to actual practice, but at least in concept it is fairly simple. As I anticipate the chief argument against my view will be to point out how dangerous it is in the hands of the willfully stupid, I have chosen to adopt that very oppostion as the title for this belief.

I believe in the right to be stupid.

Let me elaborate. I believe every individual has the right to live his life as he sees best. As the flip side of that coin, however, he has the responsibility for the results of the choices he makes in the doing. You are a free man (or woman, I do not differentiate between the genders when it comes to human rights.) You have the freedom to choose how you will live, and the obligation to accept responsibility for the results. No one else is obligated to choose for you, or has the right to do so.

So when I stand in favor of the rights to own a gun, it is because I feel each individual has the right to choose for himself whether or not to bring such a device into his household. When I oppose welfare, it is because I feel it is a way for irresponsible individuals to avoid their obligations to the choices they have made. My positions on all issues stem from a fundamental belief in you, as an individual who is competent, capable, and able to understand your own life far better than some elected or appointed official in an office somewhere. It is, at heart, a belief in the vallue of individual persons.

All other rights, as deliniated in the Constitution, Magna Charta, Bible, or whatnot, in the end, stem from this one inherrant right. I have already pointed out the second amendment to the U.S. Constitution, gun ownership. Free speech deliniates from your right to choose for yourself what you would believe in, and what you would say in support of that. Your right to to privacy (which many who style themselves conservatives point out is not listed in the constitution, one of the examples I would point out in support of my above statment regarding the framers who feared the inclusion of the Bill of Rights) deliniates from your right to live a private, isolated life without the prying eyes of busybodies who would make your decisions for you.

A caveate

It's a trite phrase often uttered by arguing children, but nevertheless it is true, especially when applied to the Right to be Stupid, "Your right to swing your fist ends where my nose begins." When you grant people as much freedom as I do in this, my fundamental belief regarding human rights, it is vitally crucial that it is understood just what limits are placed on that same freedom. It is necessary and key that we know when these rights can be curbed. It is perhaps best and most easily described by that portion of the Hypocratic Oath known by many of us who are not a portion of the medical field. "Do no harm."

This is, of course, much easier to say than it is to actually practice. Every action we take in life, be it public or private, has an impact on those around us, and through them, on society as a whole. It is innescapable. Even the effort to avoid having an impact has an impact through it's very absence. So as we go through an examination of the practicalities of this belief, we have to examine how we weigh the inevitable impacts, and how we deal with those who would not exercise such judgement.

The argument against.

The strongest argument I have seen so far placed in oppostition to the belief that we have the right to live our lives as we chose states, quite simply, that it gives license to those who would abuse that freedom, and themselves, through dangerous behavior. That, in short, it grants the right to be stupid. My simple response is, "That's correct." It is then necessary for me to point out the other half of the belief: You are responsible for the results of your choices. So if you have chosen to smoke, knowing full well that smoking is a leading cause of cancer, emphasema, and numerous other health problems, your health is your responsibility, not societies, and not the tobacco industries. You made the choice, you are responsible for the results. Likewise, if you choose to drive drunk, you are responsible for any injury or death that results, in full.

At one time, it was very common for this to be the accepted view point. Most reasonbable people recognized that individuals who do something stupid will, typically, get what they deserve. There are a number of old sayings that reflect this. "Youy reap what you sew." "Sew the wind, reap the whirlwind." "What goes around, comes around." It was an implicit recognition that stupid acts are stupiud for a reason, and those who engage in them really have no excuse. What is more, these societies tended to view the results of these actions as, in fact, a form of self correcting action. Those who chose to do something stupid, in spite of the body of wisdom warning them not to, will either learn from it (and thus become less "stupid"), or will do us all the favor of removing themselves from the picture. It is only a recent development that insists that the begative results of stupid acts are the result not of the stupid act, but the people smart enough not to do something so stupid.

In short, if you feel the rights of the individual need to be curbed because the lowest common denominator might trip over the learning curve necessary, you are attempting to guard and protect those who, frankly, need to become aquainted with the phrase "The burned hand teaches best," and doing so at the expense of those best able to contribute to an intelligent, reasoning society. Harsh, perhaps, but the alternative is to prevent improvement in society by reducing the abilities of those able to soar to the same level of those who trip over door sills.

Government and the Right to Be Stupid.

It is necessary for us, as practical and intelligent individuals to recognize that there are those who will abuse the freedoms implied by this right. But how then, do we deal with these individuals without trampling the rights of those more responsible? This question is the one in which we begin dealing with the practicalities of government. How do we deal with those who insist that their fist may, indeed, swing past where our noses begin?

Government is one of those evil necessities of life we find ourselves hampered with. While the exercise of your freedom to live your life is simplicity when only you are around, the introduction of even one other individual immidiately makes it necessary for there to be some degree of compromise. It becomes necessary for me to restrain myself when swinging my fist. It also becomes necessary for you to restrict just where you put your nose. This complication and compromise becomes increasingly greater as the population of an area increases.

Where the individuals are essentially agreeable, the compromises are, likewise, fairly agreeable. A small body of like minded individuals can easily restrain themselves in their exercise out of a desire to live comfortably with their neighbors. Under such circumstances government becomes little more than a gentlemans agreement that is self enforced, with no need for any real power. The agreement is power enough.

This idyllic state, unfortunately, is rare even amongst small bodies of people and impossible amongst larger societies as a whole. It becomes, then, necessary to emplace methods and standards to use for the protection of the rights of the body against those who refuse to accept the restraint of their actions. This, in my belief, is the ONLY necessary power of government. Anything further is a usurpation of the rights of the individual.

Individuals who will not abide by the caveat to the right become a threat to that right. The individual who chooses to drive drunk and thus injures or kills another person abuses his right to the detrement of all. The dictator who chooses to invade his neighbor in an effort to extend his personal wealth and power also is a threat. These illustrate the two different axis from which a threat may come, internal, and external. Each requires a different approach to be dealt with.

How to govern against internal threats to the right.

I will not, in this document, make claims for any form of government being superior to any other. The import here is not whether the government forms based off some elected form, or through descent. What matters is what actions that government takes to ensure the protection of the rights of the individual. I dare say most governments fail in this, many rather badly.

In order to protect against the abuse of the rights of man, government requires three basic items. It needs a body politic which establishes what compromises are necessary to ensure my fist and your nose do not intersect. It needs an agency to investigate those occasions where abuse may have occured. And it needs an agency to deal with those individuals who have clearly perpetrated those abuses.

The first agency on the list, that which decides what compromises need to be made to best protect the over all rights needs, first and foremost, to understand what it's specific purpose is. Too often this is not the case. This body's purpose is, specifically, to do as little as is necessary to guard the right of the individual. It is a fine line to walk. They must, by nature, be willing to place some limitations on individuals, while at the same time not exceeding them. Unfortunately, most political individuals tend to fall into one (or more) of three traps which lead them to act in a manner contrary to this purpose.

The first trap is the belief that the government is there to be served. It is exhibited by the famous phrase of President John F. Kennedy, "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country." This is an dangerous view point. It essentially renders the individual into little more than a cog in the machine of state, expendable, replaceable, and vallueless unless they fill the role the state chooses for them. Often, those who believe this postion feel that the individual recieves rights only through the good graces of the state, having earned them through some form of service. This fosters a tendancy to not question the government or it's course, but to support it no matter the act, often to the eventual destruction of not only that society at the hands of malignant, self serving governments, but also of those nations in the vicinity. Some extreme examples of this would include the U.S.S.R. and the Third Reich.

The second trap is a belief that the purpose of the government is to serve society. While this, on the surface, seems reasonable, it has a severe tendancy to devolve into a bread and circuses organism. The government winds up becoming an agency that feeds the wants and desires of those unwilling to provide them for themselves, individuals with axes to grind, and redistributionists convinced Nirvana is possible if only enough guns can be applied. Special interest groups become the word of the day, as each clamors to raise a hugh and cry calling for the government to create a society not based off equality under the law, but instead on increasing the privelege of their special constituancy at the expense of others. So you see the rise of power blocks who insist that, owing to their special need, they should recieve special preference in the distribution of wealth others have earned, special access to medicine, jobs, and education, and special privileges of speech and access to government. Of course, in order to get this special treatement, others must be squeezed out and barred from those things. And, of course, once a special interest group has the reigns of power, it will do whatever it must to prevent others access. In the end you have a society of castes and 2nd class citizens, such as this very nation has had through much of it's history.

The third trap, and the most dangerous one of all, is the belief that government is there to make life safe. The danger here is not in the intentions. To the contrary, those who support such a system have the best of intentions. The danger, in fact, is in how far they can go in curbing the rights of the individual in the name of safety, and in how easy it is for them to convince others their actions are for the best. Unfortunately, though these folk mean well, the net result becomes an Alles Verbotten society. Individual freedoms become curbed to the point they become meaningless. Speech is curved less someone be offended, or someones comments be demed dangerous to the state, resulting in the hampering of any political discourse, which by its very nature will always offend someone or endanger someones ambitions. The government restricts access to public lands, lest anyone damage either themselves or that land in any way, shape or form. Businesses become so restricted in what they may or may not do (to protect the stock holders and employees) as to become unable to research, adapt, and advance, until the very protections become the reason the businesses fail. In the end, the individual finds all his choices made for him ("should I wear a bike helmet or not? Wait, it's the law to wear a helmet so I don't get hurt." "Should i take a walk in the park or not? Oh, right, there's a curfew so I don't get mugged." "Should I go rock climbing or not? Oh, right, rock climbing was made illigal becuase sometimes people get hurt."). All is forbidden, lest someone fail, get hurt, get offended, or question the propriety of the state.

The agency which acts exclusively in the interest of the rights of man rules with a light touch. It restricts itself to straitforward fundamentals. "Don't kill anyone." "Don't steal anything." In short, it always asks the question, does this law deal with an area where someone tangibly damages his neighbor. If the answer is no, then the wise agency does not touch it. Thus, a law restricting a man from shooting his neighbors cow is reasonable as it addresses an issue where the man does tangible harm to his neighbor. However, a law restricting a man from gun ownership is not reasonable, as his ownership of the gun does not effect his neighbor in any way. Likewise, a law stating a man is liable for any death, injury, or damage that results from his actions when drinking is reasonable. A law preventing the man from drinking at all, on the other hand, simply prevents him from exercising his right to live his life as he would, without protecting anyone elses rights whatsoever. This, then, becomes the litmus test of the agency necessary for the government to establish law.

The second agency necessary for government is the agency needed to investigate whether or not a violation has occured. In other parlayance, a police force. This agency needs to understand it's purpose is not to prevent crime by prempting it, but only to ensure those who commit crimes are caught and turned over for punishment.

There are two great dangers for police forces. There is a belief that they are there to prevent crime by prempting it. And there is a belief that, as the agency of enforcement, they are morally superior to those they police. In fact, the true police force needs to recognize it's role is solely to remove from positions in which they can commit abuse those who would abuse the rights of their fellow men.

The first danger of the police force is the more insidious of the two. It is natural that those who wish to remove criminals from the streets would want to do so before they have harmed anyone. The danger here is that it leads to a guilty until proven innocent mentality. When police forces attempt to prevent crime, rather than simply investigate it, they run the grave risk of abusing the very rights they are meant to enforce. Until a man has actually committed a crime, he is not guilty of one, and as such, is not subject to arrest and punishment. But in their understandable zeal, there is a desire common amongst some police to make the contemplation of a crime, or the posession of the materials necessary to commit a crime justification for arrest. If police truly desire to prevent a crime they believe may be committed, they should arrange things to catch the criminal in the act. To act any sooner is to risk capturing, trying, and punishing someone who may have chosen to commit a crime when it came down to it.

The other danger for a police force is the tendancy to become convinced of their own moral rectitude. It becomes easy for them to convince themselves that they are the avenging force of society, and that they have the right to capture those who have committed criminal acts by whatever means necessary. The ends justify the means. This allows them to justify acts that are clear abuses of the innocent just so long as the guilty are caught. People completely innocent of crime or knowledge of crime may be harrassed, arrested, roughed up, or otherwise abused merely for being suspected of having even the remotest connection to a crime. In the end, all are treated as guilty, their rights subject to the whims of officers certain that all are guilty of hidden crime, which will be brought out at the hands of an inquisition.

A true police force understands that their purpose is solely to gather evidence of a crime, and once the evidence is convincing, bring in the criminal who has abused the rights of others for judgement at the hands of an agency specifically tasked to that purpose. They recognise that they cannot truly prevent crime, unless it's by being so good at catching criminals, that would be criminals dare not risk attracting their attention by remaining maw abiding citizens. And they recognize their obligations to be just as respectful of their fellow citizens as those not tasked as police officers.

The third agency necessary for government and it's duty regarding human rights is the agency tasked with the trying and punishment of the criminals who have abused their fellow men. This agency, like the others has certain traps it can fall into.

First, a body tasked with judging the guilt of a man under the laws handed to it by the body politic can become consumed with it's own powers. It can become consumed with a belief in the inherant guilt of those brought before it and treat them as guilty unless proven innocent. This opens the door for improper and abusive siezure of property, kangaroo courts, and even state-run slavery.

Second, such a body can slide from it's proper role as the weigher of evidence and assigner of punishment, to creator of law. Such a court can slide from enforcement of the law, to definer of the law. Political views creep in, allowing the judges to distort their "understanding" of the laws handed them to enforce to permit them to free those clearly in violation of the true intent of the law, while punishing those not guilty of the crime intended. When this goes on long enough, the courts can eventually begin to create laws out of whole cloth, even while they are not created to do so, nor answerable to those who are.

The true body of judgement understands it's role is one of assessing the guilt or innocence of those brought before it and assessing appropriate penelties to the guilty. It understands it must, in that process, respect the rights of those brought before it as well as those victimised, until such time as guilt is proved (lest the innocent be abused and later proven innocent), and that it must assess the penelty resultant fairly, with regard for the nature and level of crime committed.

How to govern against external threats.

This is a far simpler issue, in it's way, than dealing with internal threats to the rights of man. An external threat is one created by those not under the juresdiction of the nation, and not one which has entered into the collection of compromises created by the body politic and agreed to by the citizenry. As such, it is not subject to those bodies when it comes to their powers and obligations in regards to the rights of the citizens. There need be only one body to deal with these external threats. A military.

However, one must look at the complexities surrounding the actual use of the military. What is it's proper role regarding the nation, and when shall it be used, in what way? What sort of military shall we have?

First, examining the role of the military in regards to the nation it defends, the role should clearly be one of servant. Too often in history, militaries have been the agents of abuse against the citizenry they properly should have been defending. Sometimes this has been under the orders of the "proper" government, others it has been as part of the process of removing that government. The military has the ultimate obligation to understand the rights of man, and to practice the restraint demanded of them. The military should be granted no power over the citizenry, but should always be answerable to them, and take care to allways, in their manuoevers, to minimize their impact on the citizens around them.

This is not to say they should refuse to engage an enemy using citizens as shields, or in time of war refuse to emplace tanks on the land of a farmer who feels they threaten his farm by their presence. However, in the effort of defending their home they should always seek to avoid unneccessary damage and be prepared to make proper recompense when necessity drives them to harm their own.

Second, the military should be used only when necessary. It needs to be understood that war is, in many ways, the greatest horror that can be unleashed. Even when both sides attempt to fight as ethically as possible (which is a remarkable rarity), people who should have no place in war still find themselves victimized and brutilized by it. Even when the greatest of care is taken to avoid the harming of civilians, some will be killed, some will be maimed, some will be rendered homeless. War should, then, be undertaken only when the alternative is to encompass a threat to the rights of man. And yes, for those of you wondering, I do consider this to be true for anyone. a tyrant abusing his own citizenry is a threat to the freedoms of all. It is, at times, necessary to engage in an offensive war to protect your own citizens and liberate his before he forces it by invading first. But, as with all else, care must be taken that the military is, in truth, a liberator, not simply the agent of abuse at the hands of a new tyrant.

And finally, let us treat on the creation of that military. Because of both it's great power and it's horrific environment, the military must be one of the highest standards. Those who enter it must be volunteers, lest it become simply another agent of slavery and abuse by a government using it's citizens for it's own ends. Those who enter the military and defending the rights of their fellows must truly believe in that which they defend, and be willing to endure the hardships which are the nature of war. They also must be upright individuals who understand their purpose as a military, lest they use their power to abuse the rights of the citizens they defend, and even the citizens of the enemy. Men prone to atrocity and coup have no place in an organization dedicated to the preservation of freedom and liberty, being a threat to those very concepts. And finally, they need to be intelligent, thinking individuals, willing to do the horrific things needed to win wars, but also willing to question those acts and thus avoid commiting acts of abuse ordered by abusive supervisors. By their very natures, these are the people who must walk closest to the line between abuse and freedom, but they are the people we can least afford to have cross it. Thus it is imperative they be of the highest calibre among us.

The obligations of the governed and the right to be stupid.

The citizenry, under the government, have two principle obligations under the government. They must support it, and they must be the ultimate authority from which it derives it's power.

Maintaining those bodies necessary for the government to preserve their rights must, by nature, have a cost. As they are the ones whom it defends, it is only right and proper that the citizenry pay that price. Paying for the police, the body politic, the courts, and the military are the only justifiable reasons for an obligatory tax. Under a government which acts as it should in the preservation of the fundamental rights of man this would be no great burden, and only the abusive would seek to avoid paying that which provides them the very freedoms they seek to abuse. The citizenry must also be ready and prepared to take a roll in the government, should it be needed, lest the government falter in it's duties for lack of an engaged and involved citizenry.

Second, the citizenry must be the source of governmental authority in the end. In order for them to do this they must watch their government, in all it's levels and permutations. They must be willing to step in and take action when it faulters, and bolster it when it is week. A member of the government who abuses his position must be spotted and removed lest he become simply the first of many who in the end corrupt government in all it's levels. A member of that body strugling to rectify some abuse in the face of opposition should be shored up and supported, enabling him to guard the rights of those who placed him there. An empty spot must be filled by an individual who understand the role of government and is willing to do his part to ensure it continues to act in the interests of the rights of man. And ultimately, the citizens should be ready and prepared to act to remove a government that has fallen too far from it's purpose and reinstate a new, responsive government in the place of the old, while insuring they do not do so out of simple, petty ambition.

Conclusion

While my beliefs are presented here in an oversimplified and extremely crowded nutshell, this document, I hope, should suffice to show you just where I am comming from when I make my statements regarding the policies and acts of Liberal and Conservative alike. It is a fairly simple concept when seen alone like this, but in the melee of discussion, it can easily become missed when dealing with isolated details.

It is, at heart, an oppomistic belief expressed by a pessimistic man. It is the belief that people will usually chose to act responsibly when given the chance, and as such should be trusted to do so, while at the same time recognizing provisions should be made for the few who would not act so admirably. It recognizes the necessity of government while at the same time fearing the risk government can become. And it is an overall view of the nature of man in all it's dualistic complexities.

I hope this clears some things up.

A few specifics.

This section is sort of an added bonus in which I express my views on the application of "The Right To Be Stupid" to some of the issues of the day. This is simply an additional section you can read, skim, or ignore all together. it's simply here to attempt to give my positions on these issues in the wake of the overall big picture that explains why I hold these views.

What is the role of government regarding:

Economics?

Minimal. The government should only become involved in the economy when businesses are clearly abusing their positions. Businesses that are attempting to monopolize markets through unethical business practices such as lobying for governmental bars to competitors, or buying up all advertising slots by offering unmatchable prices for them should be prevented from doing so. However, businesses who posses vast majorities of market share because of having a superior product should be left alone. Businesses failing because of poor products or poor business decisions should be allowed to fail, rather than being propped up by government, thus forcing healthy companies to compete against an artificially inflated product. Investors should not be protected from bad investments, only from being defrauded.

Medicine?

Minimal. People should take responsibility for their own health and plan accordingl, whether it be through savings, purchasing insurance, or organizing food drives. Government run medical organizations, whether it be direct providers (such as the VA hospitals) or financers (such as Medicare) have appalling records, often proving to be extremely expensive owing to extreme inneficiency. Those who, through no fault of their own, find themselves unable to provide for themselves should be able to rely on charities, whether they be religious in nature (Knights of Columbus, for example) or organized by concerned private citizens (The Shriners Hospitals) which are usually volunteer organizations, far more efficient with funds, and far more likely to actually care for the person than treat them as simply another file in a beauracrats office.

Art?

None. If an artist is unable to support himself through sales of his art or through private sponsors, perhaps he needs to find another career. Government should not support artists with too little tallent or ability to make it on their own. Nor should the government be the arbiter of what is and is not art, lest it restrict legitimate art due to religious or political opposition.

Women/Gays in the Military/Combat?

Minimal. The government should solely be concerned with whether or not the individual attempting to join the military is capable of doing the job. The issues that can arise, such as harrassment should be dealt with like any other issue that arises from presence in the military, through the fair and scrupulous adherance to professionalism and military justice. Anyone who joins, regardless of gender or orientation, should be able to pass the minimum physical and mental standards necessary to further the mission of the military. Anyone who fails to adhere to those standards should be dealt with accordingly, again regardless of gender or orrientation.

Abortion?

The Right to be Stupid emphasises the repsonsibility that comes along with ones decisions. A woman has the right to not engage in sex, an act known to cause pregnancy. Should she do so anyway, she has the responsibility for the child that results. Likewise for the man. Should he engage in sex and get a woman pregnant, he is just as responsible for the child as she, married (including common law marriage) or not. Abortion not only is a way to avoid the responsibility, but is in fact the ultimate abuse of the rights of the child, as it ends all chance of the child to live his life as he chooses through death, and he is in the state least able to defend his rights. Abortion should be treated like any other abuse of the rights of others through murder, whether negligent or willful.

Marriage

None. Marriage is a social and religious institution. As such, the propriety of is should be decided by those entering into it. The only reason government becomes involved currently is to know which category to class people for when assigning tax burden and government benefits. The current tax law and benefits system being blatantly abusive in regards to treating individuals extremely differently without regard to equal treatment under the law, there should be no need when assigning people's tax burden and benefits to know whether they are married or not. Marriage should remain determined by societal norms. If someone feels a form of marriage immoral, then he can simply refrain from befriending those who enter into that form of marriage and leave it at that.

Race/Gender Relations?

Minimal. The government should not attempt to promote any race or gender over any other, even for the best of intentions. It should only step in when it is clear that efforts are being made to isolate, segregate, eliminate, or enslave individuals for raciallyor gender motivated reasons, and should do the minimum necessary to ensure the rights of the agrieved individuals are protected. Racist/sexist individuals have the right to state their idiotic beliefs, and the rest of us have the right to ignore such fools as the guttersnipes they are. Such morons should only be dealt with by the government when they commit acts that would be considered criminal even if not racially/gender motivated. (For example, a man who refuses to hire a woman because she is a woman should be allowed to run his business as he wishes, and should not be surprised when the woman and her friends organize a boycot and picket line that cuts his business down by 85%, causing him to lose the business. Burning a cross on a black man's lawn results in damage to the lawn. The perpetrators should be held liable for the repair of the lawn.)

Religion?

Minimal. Solong as no harm to others is done, people should have every right to practice and promote their religious their beliefs in public and private. A student should have every right to tell a classmate he believes in Jesus/Mohammed/Buddha/Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The classmate has the option of ignoring him, or reversing the tables and trying to convert him in exchange. Only in cases where clear and demonstrable harm is being done should government step in, and only in so much as the religious acts would be criminal in nature without the religious overtones (ritual rape, sacrificing a farmers goats, beating demons out of someone who'd just as soon keep them... Being told your going to hell may be in poor taste, but it isn't particularly harmful unless you've too thin a skin to live anyway. Just tell them to bugger off.)

Foreign Policy?

Cautious. The government has, as part of it's obligations, a responsibility to engage in active efforts to ensure that it's citizens are not threatened by abuse from other nations. It also, at the same time, must ensure the nationals of other nations recieve the same protections as it's own citizens while in areas under the control of the government. Nations who pose a threat to the security of the citizens, or which pose a threat to allied nations, should be dealt with accordingly, using violence only when necessary, but using such force as thoroughly as needed when it does become necessary. Nations threatening their own citizens should be encouraged to reform. Invasion of such nations should be undertook only for the benefit of the populace of those nations, and only if the invading nation is prepared to take responsibility for the restoration of that nation and it's citizens to self-governance under a fair and responsible government of their own. (Yes, I believe this was the case in Iraq and Afghanistan).

Immigration?

Minimal. The government should ensure only that those entering the nation from outside are not criminals and have no criminal intent. Otherwise, immigration should be open to any willing and able to come. Immigrants should not be given any extra consideration by the government. Most immigrants have, simply by the act of attempting to enter the country, demonstrated a willingness to take the measures to succeed in their new nation on their own, and most government programs intended to "help" actually hinder the new immigrants by isolating them from the society and language they will need to become familiar with to truly succeed. As with medicine, those in need of additional aid would be better served by concerned private citizens than beaurocracy.

Education?

Minimal. Teachers should be hired and fired based off performance, not tenure or union involvement. Local schools should, ultimately, be answerable to local control and be locally funded, not financed and controlled by a beaurocracy indifferent to success or failure and creating system wide solutions to local problems. Individuals should not be taxed to support schools they do not use, but should instead retain their money to pay their childs way through the school of their choice. Those unable to do so should be able to rely on schools organized by concerned private individuals and organizations, not indiffernet beaurocracies which create sytem wide policies to "solve" local problems.

Retirement

None. Individuals should plan ahead and set aside savings, invest, and take advantage of business backed retirement funds. They should not be dependant on retirement funds created by an innefficient government organization gaining it's funds through steadily increasing taxes on an ever shrinking population of laborers.��

2003-08-01T11:45:00.000-07:00

(Tried to post this last night, but Blogger wouldn't let me...)

Most of the contingent headed off today. I, because of being a late addition, am still home, but I went to see them off. People kept mentioning the ironic thing about the date. It was a year ago today we departed for Bosnia. One wife was overheard to comment "Next year around this time I'm chaining a log to his throat. This is the last time." At least I get another few days at home.

Of course, in order to get any kind of a pay check i have to go in and do scut work. "Organize these manuals no one has used in 10 years." "Go build us more lockers."

Sigh.

Bit of a humerous note. I thought I had joined the military awfully late, going to Basic Training at the ripe old age of 25. I was the oldest in my platoon, second oldest in the company. But an old friend of mine, Wolf (it's a nickname) is in basic training now... and she's older than I am. She's got to be in her early 30s. Crazy woman. I wonder what her Life Partner thinks about that. (I also wonder why she didn't mention it to us. I mean, you'd think she'd at least have mentioned it to the crazy NCO who married the girl she had a crush on... Heh.) I hope she knows what she's getting into. This aint exactly a job for sane folk who enjoy safety and comfort.

Come to think of it, I think she'll fit right in.

My wife's insane uncle called tonight. This guy is in his 70s and is a card carrying Marxist. Makes no bones of the fact. He keeps trying to convince me that the American establishment and government is the greatest curse on mankind. When, that is, Corporate America isn't the enemy of the day.

The man drives me insane. Even though Marxism and socialism have failed every time they've been tried ("because the bloodsucking capitalists won;t let them!") while the republican (look it up in a dictionary. We're a republic, not a democracy. Get it right.) nations have succeeded and established standards of living unheard of ("By oppressing everybody else with their represive militaries!") he is absolutely convinced that it's a practical and preferable way to go, ("Any reasonable person understands that a communal system benefits everyone, and so benefits him!") and that such a system will naturally succeed ("Just as soon as good, ethical people like you, James, break your brainwashed conditioning and stop supporting the evil establishment!") He has read entirely too much Trotsky. Oh, and of course, terrorism will go away the day the U.S. simply admits to how evil it's been to the world and promises to play nice.

For a 70 year old man, it's increadable how naive he is.

The worst thing about talking to him is the hypocracy. He insists on constantly pointing out the hypocracies of the U.S. leadership and military, all the while enjoying the free speech, high standard of living, and peace established by that very same leadership and military. Of course, that seems to be a common trend amongst socialists and far left liberals. Rant about the folk protecting your right to rant, try to tax into oblivion the very people who provide you your standard of living, and declare as racist/bigot/militarists the people who would extend those same rights and standards of living to others, all in the name of freedom, prosperity, and humanitarianism.

It's deliciously amusing, in a grim way. They want to end the evils of corporate America by regulating them to the point they might as well nationalize them. (Wait a minute, didn't Hitler and Stalin do that?) They want to protect us from the evils of gun violence by taking the guns from us untrustworthy citizens. (Hmm, hey! Hitler and Stalin did that too!) They want to ensure we have decent health care by taking medicine out of the hands of greedy doctors and giving it over to kind, caring, and knowledgeble beaurocrats. (You guessed it, Hitler and Stalin). They believe that the wealthy of the nation are obligated to share their largesse with the poor, and are quite happy to create vast beauracratic boondoggles for these people to give their purely involuntary donations to. (Do I need to say it? Yep, Hitler and Stalin did this too.) Oh, and to ensure that there are no undesirables they promote abortion and euthenasia programs. (All together now... Hitler and Stalin.) Oh, and when it comes to equal rights, they insist that we all must be catagorized by race, nationality, gender, religion, age, etc, on every government form, so that some people might be treated more equal than others. (I think we all recall Hitler's and Stalin's interests in catagorizing people, and where that went...) And when folk like me object to any of this, they compare us to... Hitler and Stalin.

What a joke.

There is a frickin reason the United States has the biggest economy and highest standard of living in the world. and that the nations that have emulated us make up the other top nations of the world. Our political and economic freedoms have made us what we are. These freedoms were not created by government, they were created by freedom from the government. For 200 years the government took a hands off aproach to the economy, to medicine, to art, to political speech, and we went from a nation of nobodies in the middle of nowhere to the world superpower. And now these people want to put their hands everywhere. Just like the kid in the museum who thinks the delicate vase with the "do not touch" sign by it really needs their personal involvment in it's placement on it's pedistal, they're sure they know better how to manage things than the generations who succeeded so phenomenally. And like that kid, they're sure to break the vase.

Sheesh. Didn't mean to rant when first I sat down here. I'm just tired of dealing with idiots too impressed by their ideology to pay attention to reality. And I'm tired of the fact that the only alternative to fighting them for the rest of my life is to let them tear this country down around my ears, leaving my children in the same place that the children of Communist Russia, Nazi Germany, North Korea, China, Cuba, etc. are in. I'm just tired of wondering why these people think the policies that destroyed those nations would work here.

"Lord, what fools these mortals be."
-W. Shakespeare, Midsummer Nights Dream.

2003-08-01T00:27:00.000-07:00

Most of the contingent headed off today. I, because of being a late addition, am still home, but I went to see them off. People kept mentioning the ironic thing about the date. It was a year ago today we departed for Bosnia. One wife was overheard to comment "Next year around this time I'm chaining a log to his throat. This is the last time." At least I get another few days at home.

Of course, in order to get any kind of a pay check i have to go in and do scut work. "Organize these manuals no one has used in 10 years." "Go build us more lockers."

Sigh.

Bit of a humerous note. I thought I had joined the military awfully late, going to Basic Training at the ripe old age of 25. I was the oldest in my platoon, second oldest in the company. But an old friend of mine, Wolf (it's a nickname) is in basic training now... and she's older than I am. She's got to be in her early 30s. Crazy woman. I wonder what her Life Partner thinks about that. (I also wonder why she didn't mention it to us. I mean, you'd think she'd at least have mentioned it to the crazy NCO who married the girl she had a crush on... Heh.) I hope she knows what she's getting into. This aint exactly a job for sane folk who enjoy safety and comfort.

Come to think of it, I think she'll fit right in.

My wife's insane uncle called tonight. This guy is in his 70s and is a card carrying Marxist. Makes no bones of the fact. He keeps trying to convince me that the American establishment and government is the greatest curse on mankind. When, that is, Corporate America isn't the enemy of the day.

The man drives me insane. Even though Marxism and socialism have failed every time they've been tried ("because the bloodsucking capitalists won;t let them!") while the republican (look it up in a dictionary. We're a republic, not a democracy. Get it right.) nations have succeeded and established standards of living unheard of ("By oppressing everybody else with their represive militaries!") he is absolutely convinced that it's a practical and preferable way to go, ("Any reasonable person understands that a communal system benefits everyone, and so benefits him!") and that such a system will naturally succeed ("Just as soon as good, ethical people like you, James, break your brainwashed conditioning and stop supporting the evil establishment!") He has read entirely too much Trotsky. Oh, and of course, terrorism will go away the day the U.S. simply admits to how evil it's been to the world and promises to play nice.

For a 70 year old man, it's increadable how naive he is.

The worst thing about talking to him is the hypocracy. He insists on constantly pointing out the hypocracies of the U.S. leadership and military, all the while enjoying the free speech, high standard of living, and peace established by that very same leadership and military. Of course, that seems to be a common trend amongst socialists and far left liberals. Rant about the folk protecting your right to rant, try to tax into oblivion the very people who provide you your standard of living, and declare as racist/bigot/militarists the people who would extend those same rights and standards of living to others, all in the name of freedom, prosperity, and humanitarianism.

It's deliciously amusing, in a grim way. They want to end the evils of corporate America by regulating them to the point they might as well nationalize them. (Wait a minute, didn't Hitler and Stalin do that?) They want to protect us from the evils of gun violence by taking the guns from us untrustworthy citizens. (Hmm, hey! Hitler and Stalin did that too!) They want to ensure we have decent health care by taking medicine out of the hands of greedy doctors and giving it over to kind, caring, and knowledgeble beaurocrats. (You guessed it, Hitler and Stalin). They believe that the wealthy of the nation are obligated to share their largesse with the poor, and are quite happy to create vast beauracratic boondoggles for these people to give their purely involuntary donations to. (Do I need to say it? Yep, Hitler and Stalin did this too.) Oh, and to ensure that there are no undesirables they promote abortion and euthenasia programs. (All together now... Hitler and Stalin.) Oh, and when it comes to equal rights, they insist that we all must be catagorized by race, nationality, gender, religion, age, etc, on every government form, so that some people might be treated more equal than others. (I think we all recall Hitler's and Stalin's interests in catagorizing people, and where that went...) And when folk like me object to any of this, they compare us to... Hitler and Stalin.

What a joke.

There is a frickin reason the United States has the biggest economy and highest standard of living in the world. and that the nations that have emulated us make up the other top nations of the world. Our political and economic freedoms have made us what we are. These freedoms were not created by government, they were created by freedom from the government. For 200 years the government took a hands off aproach to the economy, to medicine, to art, to political speech, and we went from a nation of nobodies in the middle of nowhere to the world superpower. And now these people want to put their hands everywhere. Just like the kid in the museum who thinks the delicate vase with the "do not touch" sign by it really needs their personal involvment in it's placement on it's pedistal, they're sure they know better how to manage things than the generations who succeeded so phenomenally. And like that kid, they're sure to break the vase.

Sheesh. Didn't mean to rant when first I sat down here. I'm just tired of dealing with idiots too impressed by their ideology to pay attention to reality. And I'm tired of the fact that the only alternative to fighting them for the rest of my life is to let them tear this country down around my ears, leaving my children in the same place that the children of Communist Russia, Nazi Germany, North Korea, China, Cuba, etc. are in. I'm just tired of wondering why these people think the policies that destroyed those nations would work here.

"Lord, what fools these mortals be."
-W. Shakespeare, Midsummer Nights Dream.

2003-07-31T23:59:00.000-07:00

2003-07-31T23:56:00.000-07:00

2003-07-31T23:55:00.000-07:00

2003-07-25T18:51:00.000-07:00

Busy busy busy.

This new computer seems far more sensitive to my fowled up home phone system than the old one, so I haven't been able to hop online and stay online. This annoys me. Not the computer's fault. I hate my phone system. Don't know who to blame, either, the phone company or the landlord. Neither one wants to claim responsability for the shitty mess...

Love the new computer. Sweetness. Such a cute little thing. Works well. Good picture for the DvDs.

Anyway, on to the important stuff you all want to know about, no doubt. Still no firm date for my departure. I do know I spend some time back east before arriving in country. Heh. Been hitting all the important stops while I can... Battallion Supply, the S1, the S2, JAG, the Family Readiness Group...

Alot of friends and family have expressed concern. They're worried. I've been doing my best to keep them calm. Just going arround, showing confidence, stating my belief in how safe and simple this will be... and quietly not mentioning all the high ranking NCOs and Officers who have quietly pulled me aside and warned me to keep my head down. Not mentioning that I'm going to the wild wild west where gunfights still occur, they just don't get reported by a media obssessed with the other sand box. Not mentioning my own anxiety...

The JAG officer who briefed us the other day said we should keep journals we can have family and friends read when we return. Somehow, i don;t think a blog is what he had in mind. it'll be interesting to see if i can even get access to the net when I'm over there. I hope so. E-mail is pretty much how I communicate with the world.

/shrug.

2003-07-23T00:43:00.000-07:00

Where're my comments? I've misplaced my comments again! Dangit.

Well... upshots from my impending departure...

I got rid of my annoying partner. Thank goodness. Boy was driving me up the wall.

I also convinced my wife to let me upgrade comps. I'm now the proud owner of a bouncing baby g4 laptop. The itty bitty one with the twelve inch screen. Now I just need to figure out OSX and transfer some files off this old machine... Hrmmm.

No real details on the deployment though. No one really seems to know much more than that I'm being seconded to another unit to provide intermediate support for their aircraft. Whee.

Well, I need to finish packing and get some sleep.

2003-07-21T11:25:00.000-07:00

Well, I said I'd post more once I knew for sure one way or another about that little call that so distracted me over the past week, and now I know.

It seems the U.S. Army has need of my abilities overseas again.

I'm going to Afghanistan.

2003-07-19T03:50:00.000-07:00

Well, my life's gone all topsy turvey. I don't feel I can really comment on what's going on right now, there's still too much in the air. Suffice it to say, the chaos my plans were thrown into last weekend were minor compared to this. It's really made a hash of things.

I didn't get my "Point/Counterpoint" feature up on WTHHLN because of it. And my work situation is rather up in the air.

And I keep being reminded of a certain refrain from Kipling.

Why, oh why do I keep doing this to myself?

2003-07-19T03:41:00.000-07:00

You represent... apathy.
You don't really show any emotion. You can be
considered cruel and cold, but you just don't
really care about anything. This is just the
way you are... you're quite a challenge to get
close to, and others may perceive you as
boring.

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

(Courtesy of Meg.)

2003-07-17T02:33:00.000-07:00

When end has come and life has passed
What shall be said of me at last?
Upon a single slab of stone
What shall be said when I am gone?

When bones lie white under the loam
And stone and grass are made my home
Will "Father, Husband, Son, and Friend?"
Be said of me, upon the end?

Or will it be as civil man
Who took up arms to guard his clan?
"A soldier, who'd see all wars cease
Who stood his watch, and now knows peace."

Perhaps my stone will speak of facts
That names but dates, and not of acts.
Born in Feb, of seventy-three
Died someday, a surety...

But one thing do I hope and pray
When I should see that dying day
The life I lived produced less than it should
But from my death, may there come some good.

2003-07-14T12:44:00.000-07:00

Well.

Some weekend.

worked two weeks strait, then... went to my National Guard Drill. I was feeling very burnt out before I even arrived for first formation. Had to stop at the store to pick something up before I went in, so I stopped along the way. An older fellow with his grandson were just ahead of me trying to enter the store. I was going to wait patiently, but the man stood aside and waved me through. As I walked by and thanked him, he placed a hand on my shoulder and just nodded. His grandson asked, as I moved on, "Is that a soldier?" "Yes." The old man replied, his voice speaking of memories he didn't know how to express. "He is."

I needed that reminder of those who came before me in the uniform, and of what that uniform means. That breif exchange between three generations, showing what it is to be a soldier, why we are here. I don;t know how to say it, and if you haven't been there, i don't think I'll ever be able to make it clear. But suffice it to say, it gave me hope.

Of course, the rest of the weekend didn't go quite so wonderfully. A couple of my fellow Sergeants got flakey, and I found myself essentially running the practical side of the entire shop, instead of just my quarter of it. Without warning. And after several other folk had already assigned them to tasks of which I had not been informed. Which they were performing incorrectly because the original assignments had been poorly communicated. And since I was the guy on the scene (only becuase I, unlike the other NCOs, had not disappeared) I was the one who had to try to bring order from the chaos.

After drill ended i went to my immidiate supervisor and let him have it with both barrels. Not a happy camper.

Oh, and my marvelous plans regarding trying to get a job I can enjoy, or going back to active service if nothing better happens by December went right out the window. The Guard, in it's infinate wisdom, has decided to send me to a military school for three months starting in October.

Wonderful.

Anyway, cornered my boss in the office today and asked him about that promised raise. he swore the paperwork would be processed this week. And then sent me to Washington again for two weeks. With the same guy I have been so unhappy to have for the past month.

I suppose i should finish with one upbeat note. Pirates of the Carribean is a must see. I highly recomend it. Johnny Dep rocks.

2003-07-10T19:58:00.000-07:00

Try this:

1) Go to http://www.google.com

2) type in (but don't hit return): "weapons of mass destruction"

3) Hit the "I'm feeling lucky" button, instead of the normal "Google search"
button

4) Read what APPEARS to be a normal error message carefully.

(Thanks to Sheldon for pointing this one out to me...)

2003-07-10T13:22:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm back from my little unwanted, undesired jaunt across Eastern Oregon, and I don;t want to talk about it. So I won't. Instead, because I perversly refuse to deal with anything relevant right now, i'm going to just talk about something totally off the wall.

Snuggling.

I love to spoon. Even now, in the summer, with it still being in the 80's at night, I find nothing in life so comforting and soothing as pressing up against the sleeping form of my woman. (To all feminists out there who just suffered coronaries: Yes, I said MY WOMAN. She likes it that way, and the fringe benefits are far too enjoyable for me to argue.) I have discovered over ten years of hit and miss expiramentation that, if I strip, turn on a fan, and lay on top of the bed without any covers whatsoever, the body heat does not cause difficulty on those 80 degree nights. (When it hits august and stays on the 90's, theat's another issue. Sigh.) And durring winter... Heaven. To feel the warmth of her skin against mine, to feel the rising of her ribs and breasts as she breathes... That is a calming sensation like no other.

I often, to relax, pop in some Enya or Enigma, maybe some Lorrenna McKennit and just zone in the dark. But that is no where near as relaxing as just laying by her side, turning off the brain, and spooning. That is my therapy.

Oh, I'm not talking about sex, although that, too, is wonderful. After 10 years of practice, we've gotten quite good at it. (Maybe that explains the four children...) No, I'm just talking about snuggling. About laying down, curling up close body to body, and letting the cares and worries of the day be replaced by that feeling, that sensation, of intimate closeness, of letting someone else come close enough to touch at every point, arm around ribs, hips together, leg over thigh, your lips brushing her neck. To lose yourself in that understanding of one another physical, mental, spiritual... To know that you and she are together through thick and thin, that you cling together throughout all that life has for you. To feel her breathe, knowing she breathes for you, and you for her...

There really needs to be a better name for it than spooning (too sexual) or snuggling (too cutesy.) Something to reflect that soothing, calming effect it has, the way it stirs and yet calms the heart together at once. Something to reflect that passionless passion, that strengthening of the ties...

I lay by your side
skin touching skin
felt every breath
let out and brought in.

My arm cross your waist,
My leg cross your thigh,
Brought visions of calm
to my unopened eye.

To hold and be held
To breathe as though one
To know that you're loved
With no words spoken.

To touch in our sleep
To be held and hold
Is heaven devine,
More precious than gold.

To drink in your warmth,
To know who you are,
Brings calmness to mind,
Soothes every scar.

Let the sun stay down late.
Let dawn linger yet.
For we'll hold and be held
And know peace, and forget.

2003-07-08T12:23:00.000-07:00

I really, really hate this job. For that matter, I'm a little peeved at life in general. Ugh.

So i go in to the office yesterday to pick up my vehicle, equipment, and assignements for the week. Now, I had explained that I needed to stay local so I could do all my Pre-national guard drill duties. No problem. Ontario has some things to be done.

Ontario is only an hour away. Too easy. I can commute that.

So I pick up the folders. And they say... Pendleton, OR. Baker OR., LaGrande, OR. and Ontario, OR. 4 hour drive, 3 hour drive, 2 hour drive, 1 hour drive. 1 way. Each store is a 4 or so hour job. So to do the more remote of those, I have to plan overnighters. Which really makes my pre-drill work difficult.

Oh, and the boss who'se supposed to discuss my raise and benefits this week... is out of town.

I'm getting pretty pissy about this.

Oh, and the truck I was supposed to have? They gave it to someone else, so I had to run around to rent a truck.

Oh, and the parts? Were locked up until this morning.

God, I really, really hate this job.

Oh, and the cats woke me up 3 times, Maria (daughter #2) 4 times, Honor (daughter #3) 2 times, and a wind storm once last night during the 7 hours I was able to snatch to get some sleep before todays marathon tour of Oregon.

Somebody shoot me.

2003-07-06T19:18:00.000-07:00

It's too damn hot. At least mid 90s if not 100s. I hate the heat. I swear, I'm moving to Alaska.

I'm also bug bit. Damn Skeeters. I hate skeeters.

In case no one guessed it, I'm grouchy.

2003-07-06T07:34:00.000-07:00

Read an interesting book last night. (Yes, the whole thing, in a single night. Couldn't sleep anyway...)

The Tribune
by Patrick Larkin

Esssentially follows the investigation of a young Roman tribune in command of a cavalry unit in Judea (that's part of modern day Isreal) as he tries to solve the murder of a Roman Senator.

I'm not a religious individual, but I was raised in a very Christian family. I imagine some Christians would be at least mildly disturbed by the depictions of Yeshua of Nazara (Jesus of Nazareth), Marium of Megdala (Mary Magdalene), Gaius Julius Paulus of Tarsus (the apostle Paul), and a host of others. And the ending is quite the amusing little kicker. I had a good time trying to match the Romanized names to the faint memories of Sunday Schools past... I heartily recomend it to the religious and athiest alike as a rather unique murder mystery.

2003-07-05T18:03:00.000-07:00

I am seriously messed up. Guess it's that whole working nights thing.

Went to bed at about 12:30, or 1 AM. And I was awake at 3:30 unable to get back to sleep... So I went out and played Clan Lords until 8 A.M. About that time I did feel tired enough to sleep. Went to lay down... and the kids kept waking me up. So I got up for my weekly Play-By-ICQ campeign, feeling like something that had passed all the way through a dog's intestines. Ugh. Finished that, went back to bed again, slept off and on, and now I'm up watching the NASCAR race. It's too frickin hot to sleep. Next week is going to be hell. I'll be working in the area.

Okay... let's see if I can do poetry while sleep deprived and rooting for Dale Jr...

I awoke in the night,
you lay there by my side.
I gazed at your lovely sight
So lovely I almost cried.

A miracle it seemed
That you brought me in your life.
I scarce had ever dreemed
You'd concent to be my wife.

I don't deserve you love,
The beast your beauty tamed.
I am no gentle dove,
I've done so much that shamed.

And yet as I lay here now
And know you love me still,
I have to wonder how
You've tamed my savage will.

I lay back to my rest
Content that you are there.
And know I'm heaven blessed
By love beyond compair.

2003-07-04T16:18:00.000-07:00

Independance Day.

Who were these men, these people who fought at Valley Forge, at Yorktown, and at a hundred other small battlefields during those 8 long years? What motivated a collection of farmers and craftsmen to take up arms and risk the fury of the most powerful nation on earth? Why did they endure what they did?

Was it for Glory that they flocked to the colors of a nation that did not yet exist? Perhaps for some, but it was certainly not for glory that they stayed. Look at what these men endured. Their uniform was a collection of layered pieces consisting of linens and wool. The same unifrom they wore in summer they wore in winter. It broiled them in their own sweat durring hot Virginia summers and froze them in the bitter cold of New Jersey winters. And those who had the uniform were fortunate, as there were scarce supplies of them. Those whose unifroms wore out had to make do with rags, marching mile after mile in bare feet, patching holes in knees and elbows with scraps of cloth scarcely better than rags themselves. Combat was a cruel, vicious affair, as men had to be close enough to one another to see the fear and hate. Death was a demeaning, ravening beast on the field, robbing men of dignity in their final moments. Men were subjected to watching friends, brothers, fathers trying to hold in their own intestines, faces twisted into crude parodies by the pain. The wounded screamed or wept, begging for death to end the misery of horrific wounds. The hospitals of the day were charnel houses with stacks of limbs outside, and the sickly smell of rot within. Men slowly died from gangreen, the slow rot that liquifies a man's flesh while he still lives. They died of disentary, as the diareah we find to be little more than an inconvenience today proved fatal then. They slept in the mud, in the dirt, in the snow... There's glory for you.

Was it for honor that they fought? Honor... Let's face some unpleasent facts. These men were traitors. They were willfully defying their king, and their country. They weren't fighting a foreign occupier. They were English subjects. When they fired at the British Troops at Lexington and Concourd they were firing on the same men who had protected them against the French and the Indian Tribes allied with the French. They were firing on the men they had previously stood beside guarding the colonies. A number of them, including George Washington, had served in the war, even commanded in it. King George was their sworn king. Britain was their sworn country. They violated those oaths to fight a war against their own brothers. There's honor for you.

Then, if it was not for glory or honor they fought, why did they fight? It certainly wasn't about taxes, as the tax burden in the colonies was insignificant next to that experienced back in England. It had nothing to do with representation, as King George had agreed to allow the colonies to have representation in parlament, and the right to choose their own governors. It wasn't about the repressions of the King, as his acts were made in response to the provocations of the colonists. So what was it? What made 8 years of such living worth it?

It was one thing. One minor thing. Self determination. The thought that a man should have the right to determine his own fate, and his own value, independant of some one thousands of miles away. That a man's birth did not make him noble or serf, that a man did not have a station to which he should keep, but rather than a man should be able to go as high as his talents and determination could get him.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident:

That all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness..."

The history of the United States is certainly not flawless as we attempted to put these words into practice. The legacy of Slavery and Jim Crow, the driving of the Indian onto poor reservations, the exploitation of immigrants, the mass incarceration of Asians in World War II, all show how imperfect our ancestors were, and we continue to be. But one thing has held true that entire time. The Founding Fathers, the Continental Army, the Patriots and Minutemen, they fought for something different. They fought for an ideal we may never reach, but it was an ideal worth fighting for, worth dying for. One of their descendants probably said it best as he dedicated a cemetary on another battlefield 87 years later.

"that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion. . . that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain. . . that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom. . . and that government of the people. . .by the people. . .for the people. . . shall not perish from this earth."

So, as we go out and watch the fireworks, as we enjoy eating hot dogs and playing with our children and friends in the park, let us remember those men, so long ago, and the path they set us on. Let us remember what was worth sacrificing their honor, and enduring the foul glory of battle. Let us remember the price so many of them payed, and so many conti nue to pay to this day. And as they did before us, let us "mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor."

Happy Independance Day, all.

2003-07-02T03:03:00.000-07:00

Well. This was an interesting night.

First, an irony note. Went to that Vietnamese restaurant for dinner again. my fortune cookie had not one but two fortunes in it. I'm trying to figure out the combo...

"You find great comfort and satisfaction at home"

Ok... I'm down with that. That's fine. But what does it mean when the very next slip of paper says:

"Now is a good time to explore."

Laughed my ass off at that combo...

Wrote lyrics for Coriakin's "Cheesy Trio." He wanted something cheesy... making fun of the songs of the 80s. I hope he likes them.

Anyway, went off to work on a couple stores. Store one was same old same old. Store two though... I called two days ago to let them know we'd be there to work on the place. It's over an hour's drive just to get there. about 10 minutes out I called again to check to see if they'd leave the doors unlocked long enough for us to get in there, as we'd be arriving at closing time. And the night manager said "You can't work here tonight. i won't be arround to supervise." I began to explain that reschedualing would cost the store director about $200, but she didn't let me get past "Well, we'll have to resched..." "Fine. you do that." Click. So I guess when Corporate gets a $200 bill for a service call on which we didn't even enter the store... sheeucks. Get bitchy with me, will you?

Tomorrow, one last store, again, almost 3 hour drive, and then home for the holiday.

It'll be nice to be home again. There are some things I dislike about being on the road. For one thing, the lack of sex sucks.

Okay, maybe that's not quite the right way to put it. I do miss the sex. That's a definate. But it's more than that. I miss... I dunno... the intimacy. The sensation of being in the arms of someone who loves me, who accepts me for what I am, even when I, myself, do not. The knowledge that she desires me, even as I desire her. Intimacy is more than just sex. Intimacy can be totally seperate from sex. It can be a gentle brush of the hand against a forearm, a warm smile of understanding and affection, a little comment no one else but the two of you even understands.

I read to my wife nights when I'm home. I pick up a book, Davaid Weber, or David Gemmel, and read to her as she does the dishes. It's such a simple little thing, yet at times, knowing how much it pleases her to hear me read to her... it's almost an erotic art. I miss that when away.

I notice the UN wants us to go to Liberia. We're so heavily commited elsewhere already that means even more call ups for us Guard guys. Well. We shall see. I feel for the people of Liberia. And I do feel the U.S. military is the best equiped for putting a stop to what's happening there. But I'd just as soon not play lap dog to an organization that depends on us for it's funds, relies on us to provide the majority (by far) of the troops it uses for it's missions, yet at the same time treats us as a pariah. If we're going in, we should do it under our terms.

I'm sure a few of you disagree with me on this, but I suppose i should point out that I've been in a region under U.N. control. When I was in Bosnia it made an interesting contrast, seeing the portions under U.S. control (where damaged buildings were being replaced, business was on the rise, and people were putting their lives together) and the portions where the U.N. was in control (bombed out buildings remained the norm, business stagnated, and people continued to live in an area looking like it had been in a fight yesterday. And this was 7 years after the war.)

I'm sure the U.N. means well, and I know why it was created in the wake of World War II. But frankly, I think it's been turned into an organization intent on revenge for the acts performed by folk long dead tand not an organization relevant to the modern world.

/shrug.

2003-07-01T18:07:00.000-07:00

Looks very decorative
no self-confident behavior
only courageous if necessary
needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings
very choosy
often lonely
great animosity
artistic nature
good organizer
tends to philosophy
reliable in any situation
takes partnership serious.

Heh. Surprisingly, seems fairly close to accurate, and just based off a birthdate. Wierd.

Thanks btezra for the link.

http://www.pressanykey.com/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/pak/treetypes.pl/

2003-07-01T04:17:00.000-07:00

I have no idea what to rant about today. Sigh. Blogger's Block. Hey! I like that. Blogger's Block... Can I copyright that? :P

Perhaps I should just drop a little poem in and run away.

Darkness has enfolded me.
All is silence in my heart.
She is gone.
She has left.
Why live when we are apart?

The darkness reaches out.
Crushing out all my hopes.
I slip.
I slide.
Down slipperiest of slopes.

How could I have let her leave?
Why is it I did not follow?
I reach out.
I am alone.
Why can I not go?

I walk the halls of memory.
I see the dark that’s past.
I am trapped.
I am lost.
My fears have found me at last.

Alone I find I’m falling.
She no longer stands at my side.
I despair.
I weep.
My heart inside me has died.

Hrm... That was grim. Maybe I'd best find something else?

You stood on the docks end
Red hair flew in the wind
All wrapped in clothes of white
Oh such a lovely sight.
My breath caught, as I came round the bend.

I took you as I planned
Our lips met o’er the sand
I reached to touch your cheek
And found I could not speak
And so it was, I took your hand.

But I awoke and found it was a dream
All I had hoped is lost to me it seems
For you have gone and left me now, so empty
And so it goes, alone here by the sea.

I lay awake at night
Knowing I’ll see the sight
Of you there by my side
As though you were my bride
But you’re gone, with the dawns pale light

I stand now by the bay
Praying for the coming day
The sea will bring you home
And never more you’ll roam
But for now, in my dreams you will stay.

For I awoke and found it was a dream
All I had hoped is lost to me it seems
For you have gone and left me now, so empty
And so it goes, alone here by the sea.

And should it come to pass
I’ll never see you lass
I’ll walk down by the sea
Till death comes to find me
And they say oer me a final mass

And we’ll meet in that other place
Where death gives way to grace
And dreams are what we live
And all we have to give
And once more I will kiss your gentle face

And I’ll awake and find that it’s no dream
All I had hoped is mine at last it seems
For you were gone, but now are back to me
Joined two as one, at last down by the sea.

Uf. Maybe not. Guess I'm just in a mood. Definately time to run, or I might write something even more depressing.

2003-06-30T17:44:00.000-07:00

My comments are back! Woohoo!

2003-06-28T17:02:00.000-07:00

Woo! Just finished my weekly Role Play by ICQ. I still think this may be the best campeign I've ever participated in. The GM has just come up with an awesome plot. Keeps us coming back for more.

The great thing is, since it's on ICQ, we can save the text logs. So the Gm has put them all online for us. He doesn;t mind visitors, and the logs are very readable, so feel free to check out the logs.

http://www.xmission.com/~abatish/framework.php?page=pbem/jannot/index.html

In fact, the GM was commenting that it'd be nice to get some feedback from folk outside the game... so if you're at all into fantasy, do me a favor. Read it and then drop him a line, let him know what you think.

=D

2003-06-28T11:57:00.000-07:00

Comments are still down. Le Sigh. Don't know why it matters, but it does. For some reason I like hearing from all my gentle readers. All, what, 4 of you? Heh.

A recommendation: If you're ever out in the Seattle area, head southwest to Renton and try the Pho Sai Gon Restaraunt (924 Bronson Way S.) The Spicy Chicken Rice dish is to die for. (If you suffer from Acid Reflux like I do, this may be a more literal statement than normal. But the pain is worth it. Trust me.)

Normally, this job sucks. Badly. I'd really rather be at home spooning with my wife at 2 in the morning than in some store yanking cable across ceiling tiles so dusty you could grow things on them. But every so often things go well enough to actually leave you feeling satisfied. Last night was almost fun, for once. We went back to a store that we had wired the day before, but which the test equipment kept telling us was mis-wired. 1 1/2 hour of trouble shooting, and we had diagnosed and repaired the problem (factory had mis-wired a patch panel). Woo hoo! I am da man! Then we shot off to store #2. Store #2 was closed due to a fire in the bakery (These are supermarkets we're talking about). So off to Store #3. Normally we expect to do the wiring for this particular project in around 4 hours. Store #3 we managed to knock out in 2 hours 45 minutes. I got lucky and found I could crawl all the way from the front of the store to the back of the store across a heavy fire suppression system pipe. Normally there are fire walls in the way that prevent this. Cut the time needed to pull our cable in half. And let me put to use all those jungle gym skills I learned in kindergarten. Yes, it is true. All I really need to know I learned in kindergarten. My co-worker didn't even throw any tantrums all night. Just raved about how amazing it was to see me shimmy my way across an entire ceiling like some crazed monkey. Heh. I love being 135 lbs. and dexterous as hell. I am a pole climbing fool! (That's climbing, not dancing. Sorry to disappoint all my adoring fans.)

And of course I still love Seattle, even though the traffic sucks. Let me just give you one little piece of advice though. When the Mariners are playing at home, do not attempt to drive through down town Seattle. Don't do it. Just... don't.

My only rant on personal subjects today has to do with that spawn of Satan, AOL. Why, oh why, will it not let me send and recieve e-mail? I hate AOL. Hate hate hate hate hate.

Ok. I feel a little bit better. Not much, mind you, but a little.

Well, I am sleep deprived as hell, missing home, and living off zingers and sprite, so I think I'd best post this and go away for a while.

2003-06-27T17:05:00.000-07:00

What's up with my comments? What kind of maintenance are they doing? Sheesh.

I hate my life. This job sucks. Big time. For one, I really am not fond of this new guy they saddled me with. He's got worse mood swings than a pregnant woman. He works slower than I like. He has no imagination. Fuck. I could almost do this job alone and do it as quickly. And I thought I was a grouch. For another, this job is just as nasty, filthy, and annoying as it was when I was just a wire yanker, but now I have to keep track of receipts for meals and hotels, plan visits, and document all the work. Which takes another hour or two a day.

At least, if i have to put up with this shit, I get to do it in Seattle. Seattle is the only city I actually like. It's green, and has an interesting culture. It's on the ocean, and right by the mountains. Kinda like San Francisco, but without the California bullshit. It's a beautiful city. I wouldn';t mind living in the area, but don't know how I'd afford it.

Obviously I'm back online again. Had to get one of those free AOL disks to do it, and it seems to be buggering up my e-mail somehow. This sucks.

Heh. Just saw an interesting commercial for a show on Showtime. Dead Like Me. Sounds pretty damn funny.

God. I'm rambling now. I need to get a life.

2003-06-22T20:43:00.000-07:00

And off I go again in the morning. Sigh. I'll try to get some sort of access, but no garuntees.

Grumble.

2003-06-22T08:25:00.000-07:00

I am a creature of habit. Mostly bad habit. One of the worst, in my no doubt seriously warped opinion, is my habit of getting in over my head. Especially on schedualing issues.

Take this weekend for example.

I got home friday during the day. As soon as I could, i went to bed for a much needed nap (This working nights all week then trying to be normal on the weekends thing is killing me...) Got up, did my daily blog tour (Pretty much everything Meaghan/Ayella has linked plus a few) and then tried to do some Clan Lord. After a bit, i worked on more poetry and music, then was off for my weekly Friday night hunt, which had me up till about 2 A.M. Came home, woke up the wife... nuff on that subject... And went to sleep around 3, 3:30 A.M.

Then, yesterday, I slept till about 12:30 (I have been seriously short on sleep for about 3 weeks now...) By 1 P.M. I was back on line for my weekly on line role playing with a college buddy and his friend. We play via ICQ Chat. It's awesome. This campeign is one of the best I've ever been in. Very much not the normal roleplay plot or characters. And this particular session was nice as the event we've been expecting for a Real World year finally happened, and the main character (I consider myself supporting cast) finally married the girl. (If anyone is interested, the text logs have actually been saved, and are located at http://www.xmission.com/~abatish/framework.php?page=pbem/jannot/index.html They are extremely readable, and we've actually had a few fans develope. Heh.) Normally this would last till about 5:00, but yesterday we cut it short so i could go outside and help build a new swingset for the girls. By 5:30 I was off for my table top campeign I GM here in town. This left me crawling in at 3:00 A.M. again, this time to tired to wake up the wife...

Sunday mornings my wife always tries to drag me to church, despite my heathen tendencies. (Or maybe because of my heathen tendancies. Dunno.) This usually keeps me booked until about 12:30. (I'm skipping today. I have to find a missing pager that the boss issued me before monday. Argh.) Then it's off home for the NASCAR race, which i may or may not actually see today because of a bar-b-que with friends. This usually keeps me occupied on sundays until around 5:00 P.M. Then, that being done, I have enough time to spend a couple hours getting all my gear ready for the next little out of town jaunt, and perhaps squeeze in a honeydo or two.

Now, don't get me wrong, I enjoy all of these things, and really wouldn't want to cut any of them out of my list of things to do. It just seems like I'm spending all my time scrambling. And the week is scarcely better, as I usually am on the road working around 12 hours a day. Ugh. It's a wonder I have time to write (Which, incidently, happens at some of the wierdest times. The poem in the previous post suddenly struck me at 3 A.M. the other day...)

Sigh.

Discovered much to my surprise Coriakin has a Blog. That's pretty snifty. I wish I had half Coriakin's musical tallent. (For that matter, I wish i had musical tallent. Other than lyrics, I find my own music to be somewhat trite and plodding.)

http://www.livejournal.com/users/coriakin/

Oh, and I've decided to be a very mean boy. Of course, Jacob was the one who decided to be very insulting to the Bard's Guild in Clan Lord. Never insult a bard. Bad idea. Very bad idea.

Oh Jacob, Great Jacob, I sing of your name,
Oh Jacob, Great Jacob, you’ve gained now great fame.
Oh 9000 coins for The Wood you proclaim!
If you knew of us bards, would you still choose the same?

For Instrument parts are exceedingly rare,
And Hendrux will take them with only great care,
And scarce one in ten will he say is that fair,
And you charge us 9,000? We ask how you dare!

Lest it happen again with a song we will warn,
Beware of your fortune when bards you would scorn,
For we’ll publish your deeds and see that your shorn,
Of honor and glory and left most forlorn.

So take as a warning this song I now sing.
When like Great Jacob you find such a great thing,
Be fair with your pricing, or your ears will ring!
Sell fairly your parts and let music take wing.

(For Harp)

(\F[df]a#a#=c[\a#f]=dc\a#[\af]=cff[=c\a]=Fp4
=f[\d#a#]=ggg[\a#g]=gfd[\a#f]=ccd[\af]=Cp4
=f[\d#a#]=ggg[\a#g]=gfd[\a#f]=ccd[\a=c]Fp4
\fg[fd]a#a#=c[\fa#]=dc\a#[\af]=cdc[\fd]\A#p4)4

For those of you who are bards in CL, feel free to join me in my little campeign of unholy vengance. For those of you who don't even play CL and are very confused right now, it's ok. It'll all go away soon. /pats his readers on the head.

Tell you what. For you Non-CLers, I'll toss you a bone to make up for the above. Let's see, another little impromptu off the cuff poem, made up on the spot by the sleep-deprived oddball host of this blog!

Oh come to my arms
Let me hold you today
Let the heart in my chest
Say all it would say.

Let my fingers raise goose bumps
over skin that they traced
Let my arms wrap around
your chest and your waist.

Let my lips touch your hair
And my hands touch your face
Let your passion ignite
While you're in my embrace.

let me whisper sweet words
In the curve of your ear
Let me wrap you in silk
and satin my dear.

let me make you the center
Of all of my life
Let me teach you the beauty
Of the little word "wife."

Hmm. needs work. /shrug.

2003-06-21T02:01:00.000-07:00

I may elaborate a little on this one, or rework it a touch, but this one definately will be put to music for Clan Lord.

Just A Dream

You stood on the docks end
Red hair flew in the wind
All wrapped in clothes of white
Oh such a lovely sight.
My breath caught, as I came round the bend.

I took you as I planned
Our lips met o’er the sand
I reached to touch your cheek
And found I could not speak
And so it was, I took your hand.

But I awoke and found it was a dream
All I had hoped is lost to me it seems
For you have gone and left me now, so empty
And so it goes, alone here by the sea.

I lay awake at night
Knowing I’ll see the sight
Of you there by my side
As though you were my bride
But you’re gone, with the dawns early light

I stand now by the bay
Praying for the coming day
The sea will bring you home
And never more you’ll roam
But for now, in my dreams you will stay.

For I awoke and found it was a dream
All I had hoped is lost to me it seems
For you have gone and left me now, so empty
And so it goes, alone here by the sea.

And should it come to pass
I’ll never see you lass
I’ll walk down by the sea
Till death comes to find me
And they say oer me a final mass

And we’ll meet in that other place
Where death gives way to grace
And dreams are what we live
And all we have to give
And once more I will kiss your gentle face

And I’ll awake and find that it’s no dream
All I had hoped is mine at last it seems
For you were gone, but now are back to me
Joined two as one, at last down by the sea.

2003-06-20T16:15:00.000-07:00

This week was the mother of all mixed blessings. I think.

Hell of a week.

Ended up having to leave on Sunday to go to Seattle. The company is starting to slide very seriously behind on some very large projects for the biggest clients. So they rushed us out early with a big list of stores to wire. Missed most of Father's Day (dammit) and Shenandoah's Birthday (dammit.) But the boss was sure to let me know just how much he appreciated what I was doing.

/shrug.

What the hell. I've only missed 2 1/2 years of 'Doah's life already. What's another week? (gawdammit.)

Anyway, we ended up in Tacoma most of the week. What a place. Tacoma. It's like Seattle's homely step-sister. Kinda old and kinda shabby. A little rough around the edges. Heh. The stores we had to pull cable in (I install internet and ethernet infrastructure, cat-V cable, fiber, that sorta stuff) were, for the most part, not too bad. We were able to knock out two a night. Course, they were all night jobs, starting around 8 or 9 PM and getting done around 4 or 5 AM, but I've grown used to that. Still were very nasty, filthy places. All that dust and insulation... My cough was pretty bad this morning from breathing all that shit.

I need another job. Sigh.

Which is really an interesting issue. Wednesday i called the wife. Amazingly, Salt Lake had already called about their decision. I didn't get the job. Big surprise. Oh well. Woulda been nice. Guess I keep looking.

Course the boss just upped the stakes. We checked out our last store, this one in Seattle itself. Well, SouthWest Seattle. Which is a story in and of itself... Anyway, we determined we couldn't accomplish the pulls as we needed access to the Pharmacy (Can't be done at night) and a scissors jack lift (which would take a day to arrange). So we couldn't do it that night, and there was no reason to spend 3 nights in a hotel room at company expense to get a lift monday, all the while arguing with the store manager about letting us work during day hours so we can get into the roof above the pharmacy. Feh. So we packed up, and hit the road back to Boise around 2 A.M.

Got back about 10 A.M. I unloaded the truck and was about to head home for a much needed nap (which, i might add, I have not taken. Still.) Woody (the boss) called me over and told me to have a seat. He needed to chat with me as soon as he finished a few things. So I sat, figuring one of two things had happened. Either he'd caught wind I was looking for a better (read: at least barely decent) job and was going to call me on the carpet, or hell had frozen over.

The devil must be pissed. Apparently, during the last week, the company lost alot of it's work force. Simply quit. Gone. No warning. Over the past 2 months it had had a bad attrition rate, but this week was a nightmare for Woody. Alot of people are dis-satisfied with the direction the company is going. And I happen to agree, personally, but with 4 kids, I need a job now, not a pie in the sky dream later. It's not Woody's fault, it's the hacks in the back office who don't understand or care about the misery that is being a wire jerk, but it sure leaves Woody hurting. Anyway, upshot is, he's desperately short of people. Especially qualified people, but any people. So he basically told me he's jumping me up to a Lead. That means I went from basic grunt to small projects manager in one swell foop, skipping an entire level in the process. He said it's a temporary, two week thing for now, but if i do allright it'll be permanent, with all the rights, privelages, and pay there unto. Yep. he said that big word... PAY.

Course now I'm nervous as hell. This isn't a case of being made responsible for a couple of folk in an office with your desk 5 steps away from your boss... I'll be the man making the decisions about how to accomplish entire projects upwards of 400 miles away from the boss and having to justify it over the phone if there's any debate. Now, i can do this. I mean, i was a shift supervisor in a combat zone for 6 months for chrisakes. But that doesn't mean I am exactly the most experienced cable puller out there. And I'm one who's a bit disgruntled to boot. And the company has a way of giving extremely vague instructions then being dis-satisfied how they are carried out...

The one immidiate upshot is that I get to go back to Seattle for two more weeks. I'm going to see what i can do to get an actual frickin internet connection this time (two weeks without the net? I'll die...) so that means it should actually be pleasant. Seattle... Only big city I actually like. Green, thriving culture, on the Sound... Yeah. That's where God goes on vacation. I'd live there if i could figure out how...

Yeesh. Nuff of that. I'm making myself sick of work all over again!

So on the drive home, new pager on my hip, bundle of papers to review before I leave on monday, I cranked up the radio. Good ole Country! Singing as loud as I want without bothering anybody. What a release! Course, then they played a song i was less familiar with, so I stopped to listen to the lyrics.

"Where would you go,
"If you weren't here with me?
"Where would you be,
"If you were wild and free?
"Who would you love?"

etc...

Made me think. I never really was single. I married at 20. I had spent all of a year and a half away from home at that point, and a nice, calm, proper christian college hardly counts as a wild bachelor life. So I often find myself wondering what life would be like single... And then i come to myself and that practical side of my brain that actually thinks about things reminds me I'd be living in a shoe box that looks like a third world natural disaster eating microwave dinners and probably drunk. Bad idea.

Is it a bad sign when you find yourself dwelling on such lines? Maybe it's time to switch to some good old fashioned heavy metal.

2003-06-15T07:29:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm hitting the road again, headed to Washington (state). I don't know whether or not I'll have internet access though, so I may not be able to post.

2003-06-13T16:44:00.000-07:00

Well, got up and did the interview this morning. It seemed to go real well. Apparently there was a typo in the job announcement. The job is for an Avionics guy. Fortunately I am familiar enough with most of the systems to have discussed them fairly well. He told me he was definately impressed, and felt I was a very intelligent and clearly capable individual.

He also mentioned that the unit the job is with is slated for a rotation in Bosnia in the near future. That'd be ironic. I just left the place...

I should know in about two weeks.

Work was a nightmare. Seems like every pull went wrong somehow. We managed to accomplish our goal, but it was hell. Kinked Cat V cables, missing pull strings, unstable ladders... God damn mess. It didn't help that I felt as bad health wise as I have all week. Lunch kept trying to return for a second visit. Never did, but prolly only because I am so stuborn.

Last night was pretty unpleasent, too. With Meaghan off to camp today, last night was "fairwell to Ayella" night, Nox Sorora style. The RP was deep, scary, and intense... and I kept losing my connection. Pretty damn annoying. I hate my phone company. At least I saw enough to have a feel for what was happening that Sareth can be truly miserable and antsy. Heh.

I haven't worked on my little Clan Lord related novel all week. That's a bad thing. Enough people are interested in it I need to get it knocked out. Sigh. Haven't even been doing much poetry. I've just been so damn fried.

maybe I'll get a little rest this weekend. Prolly not though. I have a Clan Lords hunt tonight (late), a GURPS game online tomorrow afternoon, I GM tomorrow night, and then Sunday is Father's day. All 4 girls will be home, and they love parties as much as their father dislikes them... Sigh.

Anyway... I need a nap rather badly.

2003-06-12T17:48:00.000-07:00

Well, I interview for the job in Utah by phone in the morning. /crossed fingers.

And I am tired. Very tired.

Good luck at summer camp, 'Yella! We'll miss you! (Unless we don't cause we're covered in green fur... )

Nuff said. I'm tired.

Good night.

2003-06-12T06:30:00.000-07:00

Numenorean

To which race of Middle Earth do you belong?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-06-11T21:36:00.000-07:00

Please let me know what you think. This piece is a commissioned work for a young lady who plays a fortune teller in the game Clan Lord. It will be put to music eventually, but first I want to know how it strikes folk.

The Fortune Teller

There is a young lady an oracle, it seems
who for tells the future and all of your dreams
She sits in the town and amazes the man
Who asks her so shyly about his great plan.

The whisk of the cards The whisper of voice
Will tell you the fate Of your future choice
Oh will you choose wisely Or will you choose wrong?
Will the spirits of fortune Go gently along?

Her name is Aspasia, The Queen of our Hearts.
She tells you your story With a shuffle of cards.
She’ll tell you your future, your present and past.
For your fortune, great fortune, is already cast.

The whisk of the cards The whisper of voice
Will tell you the fate Of your future choice
Oh will you choose wisely Or will you choose wrong?
Will the spirits of fortune Go gently along?

She’ll draw you a card It’s your hidden past
She’ll draw you another Of today come at last
She’ll draw you a third Of tomorrow it speaks
Then she’ll ask you a question About what you seek.

The whisk of the cards The whisper of voice
Will tell you the fate Of your future choice
Oh will you choose wisely Or will you choose wrong?
Will the spirits of fortune Go gently along?

Oh ask her your question But take you great care!
For the future is murky Think well if you dare.
For knowing your future may bring you great pain
But draw forth the cards If you’d know your bane.

The whisk of the cards The whisper of voice
Will tell you the fate Of your future choice
Oh will you choose wisely Or will you choose wrong?
Will the spirits of fortune Go gently along?

I asked the young lady In a moment of fear
What future was held For me and my dear?
And breathless I watched Till the last card was cast.
And I hope she spoke true For she told me it’d last.

The whisk of the cards The whisper of voice
Will tell you the fate Of your future choice
Oh will you choose wisely Or will you choose wrong?
Will the spirits of fortune Go gently along?

2003-06-11T16:21:00.000-07:00

I have been seriously wrung out. No matter how much I sleep, or how little, I wake up fried. Sunday I actually took 5 minutes laying there trying to figure out where I was, why I was waking up, and what day it was after the alarm clock went off. Normally I'm up and halfway to the shower before My mind even realizes the alarm went off. Maybe I caught a bug. Lord knows my chronic cough is worse than usual.

Anyway. Got home from work early so I could surprise my wife with a (relatively) clean house and dinner. Surprise was on me. She was already home. I hadn't expected her until evening. /shrug. While the noise and chaos tend to bother me alot, it's nice to have her and half the brood home. The other half will be home this weekend. Just in time for me to be back on the road again, probably. Firnt.

Had a message on the machine when I got home. The Utah Guard wants to schedual an interview. I need to try to call them tomorrow to set it up. Of course, the interview itself could pose a problem. How do you tell your boss you need 3 days off in the middle of a major project so you can go to an interview out of state? I'll manage. While I keep looking, and am trying not to count my eggs before they hatch, I really want/need this job. It's doing the one thing I actually know how to do (Fix really big-ass guns on helicopters), and at $40,000 a year, it'd almost double my income. With 4 children, that's no small consideration.

Hmm. More poetry has been requested... lemme see... Ok, an old one I've had for a while...

As willow is my green clad love,
Her eyes flash green as grass.
Her lips as ivy in sun-lit grove,
Her hair, like flowers in glass.

Her breasts a mountain pass enshrine,
Like forest vale, fair thing!
Her arms, Oh lovely limbs devine!
Like aspens dance in spring.

Her legs weave paths of pure delight,
Twin roots of oaken strength.
Her warm embrace in tree shaded night!
On moss lay prone at length.

How strong my want, my need, my love!
As flowers for rain cry out.
I’ll lay with thee, with boughs above,
And windblown grass about.

2003-06-09T16:39:00.001-07:00

I must be boring. No one's commented on my blog in several days.

Of course, there's only, what, 5 people who even knows it exists? :D

I'm baching it for the next several days. Wife's out of town with my eldest daughter until Wednesday night and the other 3 are with Grandma for 2 weeks. It's peaceful, quiet, little to do...

I'm already bored.

I may call up Jon/Aldernon. He usually calls me when he's baching it and bored. Or I may clan for a long frickin time. In fact, I probably will. I need to get a bunch of ore for a possible deal for some fine wood. If I recall, Topaz wanted some... (Or was that Falinea Hair?) Well, if worse comes to worse, I'm sure I could find someone interested.

But first, off to the HRO sights for the surrounding states. I need a better job...

2003-06-09T16:39:00.000-07:00

2003-06-08T21:37:00.000-07:00

Another poem I just wrote and am debating on making a song. I'm not sure it's good enough to bother with writing the music. /shrug.

The Last Watch

The palsied hands once held a sword
His hairless head a helmet wore
His sunken chest had the mark of his lord
And his withered arm a shield once bore.

He stands alone atop the wall,
He warms himself by a sullen flame
And in his heart he feels the call
Of those who went before he came.

A final watch this soldier stands
As he recalls the friends of old
Who stood watch once in shinny bands
Upon this wall now bare and cold.

He closes eyes grown milky dull
And feels again their laughs, their call
Remembers brotherhood in full
And strength of men who gave their all.

And o’er the field gaze sightless eyes
Who see the ranks of brazened foe.
His deadened ears hear shouts and cries
In voices he knew, and will always know.

He feels that flush, that rush, that crash
That once he felt when strength was his
When fury his senses whipped and lashed
When oer the battlements arrows ris.

He opes his eyes to look around
And on a stair his gaze does fall
There Thurgold slain did stain the ground
And by him did Ringold slow fall.

And as he looks on sacred sight
Thurgold and Ringold do slowly rise
And step up in that quiet night
And join his vigil under skies.

He looks upon the battlefield
And raiding foes do smile back
They call out “You! Who did not yield!
Lay down at last your heavy pack.

“You comrades in arms are here today
And we, your foes, with open arms.
We bid you rest at last, and stay
Where never again you shall here alarms.

“Your war is done, and now is peace.
Come join us now, lay down your head.
A soldier’s duties at last release.
And join at last, your bretheren dead.”

2003-06-08T20:04:00.000-07:00

If We Must Die
If we must die, let it not be like hogs
Hunted and penned in an inglorious spot,
While round us bark the mad and hungry dogs,
Marking their mock at our accursed lot.
If we must die, O let us nobly die,
So that our precious blood may not be shed
In vain; then even the monsters we defy
Shall be constrained to honor us though dead!
O kinsmen! We must meet the common foe!
Though far outnumbered let us show us brave,
And for their thousand blows deal one deathblow!
What though before us lies the open grave?
Like men we’ll face the murderous, cowardly pack,
Pressed to the wall, dying, but fighting back!
Claude McKay, 1889-1948

2003-06-08T20:02:00.000-07:00

Uh... Maybee?

http://www.colorquiz.com/

Your Existing Situation

Working to improve his image in the eyes of others in order to obtain their compliance and agreement with his needs and wishes.

Your Stress Sources

The existing situation is disagreeable. Feels lonely and uncertain as he has an unsatisfied need to ally himself with others whose standards are as high as his own, and wants to stand out from the rank and file. This sense of isolation magnifies the need into a compelling urge, all the more upsetting to his self-sufficiency because of the restraint he normally imposes on himself. Since he wants to demonstrate the unique quality of his own character, he tries to suppress this need for others and affects an attitude of unconcerned self-reliance to conceal his fear of inadequacy, treating those who criticize his behavior with contempt. However, beneath this assumption of indifference he really longs for the approval and esteem of others.

Your Restrained Characteristics

Emotionally inhibited. Feels forced to compromise, making it difficult for him to form a stable emotional attachment.

Wants to broaden his fields of activity and insists that his hopes and ideas are realistic. Distressed by the fear that he may be prevented from doing what he wants; needs both peaceful conditions and quiet reassurance to restore his confidence.

Feels rather isolated and alone, but is too reserved to allow himself to form deep attachments. Egocentric and therefore quick to take offense.

Circumstances are restrictive and hampering, forcing him to forgo all joys and pleasures for the time being.

Your Desired Objective

Feels the existing circumstances are hostile and is exhausted by conflict and quarreling. Wishes to protect himself and hides his intentions to avoid exposing them to attack, so that they will be safer and easier to achieve. Careful to avoid stirring up any opposition which might endanger his plans.

Your Actual Problem

The unsatisfied desire to be respected, to stand out from amongst his friends, is causing some anxiety. As a result, normal gregariousness is suppressed and he refuses to allow himself to become involved, or to participate with others in their ordinary activities.

Your Actual Problem #2

Disappointment at the non-fulfillment of his hopes and the fear that to formulate fresh goals will only lead to further setbacks have resulted in considerable anxiety. He tries to escape from this by withdrawing and protecting himself with an attitude of cautious reserve. Moody and depressed.

2003-06-07T17:12:00.000-07:00

Turns out I'm not the only one with Bosnia on the mind. Us Bosnia vets, it turned out, did not have to go to the field for the weekend. This left us sitting around, just us, for the first time since we'd gotten back. We were catching up with one anothers lives, cracking jokes, and one of my guys said "You know, as much as it sucked over there, I miss Bosnia." There was a pause, and then we all found ourselves nodding, agreeing.

I guess we felt we were a part of something over there. And now... we're not. Even those of us with families feel... diminished. I dunno. The perversity of the military mind, I guess.

Anyway, since I didn't end up in the field, I headed back home. Stopped at the store, surprised my wife at her friend's house with a dozen roses (still in uniform, mind you). The two middle girls are with grandma for two weeks, oldest had gone to a friends for the night, and youngest is barely crawling, so it looked to be the first "just the two of us" night in 6 years... and 1/2 an hour later I was in the bathroom sick as a dog.

God hates me...

Oh, well.

Anyway, another of those quizes. This one really irritated me while taking it... until I got the results. Bang on. Freaky...

http://www.mindmedia.com/brainworks/profiler

Auditory : 70%
Visual : 29%
Left : 38%
Right : 61%

James, you show a slight right-hemisphere dominance with a moderate preference for auditory processing, an unusual and somewhat paradoxical combination of characteristics.

You are drawn to a random and sometimes nonchalant synthesis of material. You learn as it seems important to a specific situation, and might even develop a resentment of others who attempt to direct your learning down a specific channel.

Your right-hemispheric dominance provides a structure that is only loosely organized and one which processes entire swatches of reality, overlooking details. You are emotional in your reactions and perceptual more than logical in your approach, although you can impose structure and a language base when necessary.

Your auditory preference, on the other hand, implies that you process information sequentially and unidimensionally. This combination of right-brain and auditory modes creates conflict, as you want to process data more rapidly than your natural processes allow.

Your tendency to be creative and free-flowing is accompanied by sufficient ability to organize and be logical, allowing you a reasonable degree of success in a number of different endeavors. You take in information methodically and systematically which can then be synthesized rapidly. In this manner, you manage to function consistently well, although certainly less efficiently than you desire.

You prefer the abstract and are a theoretician at heart while retaining the ability to be practical. You find the symbolism in a great deal of what you encounter and are something of a "mystic."

With regards to your lifestyle, you have the mentality which would be good as a philosopher, writer, journalist, or instructor, or possibly as a systems designer or social worker. Perhaps most important is your ability to "listen to your inner voice" as a mode of skipping over unnecessary steps to achieve your goals.

2003-06-06T10:37:00.000-07:00

It just figures, I guess.

I'm feeling extremely poetic and creative at the moment... working on music for Clan Lord, writing poems, jotting down a little posy on Meg's blog...

And i have guard drill this weekend. I'll be out in the field.

If there is anything less poetic than National Guard Drill, it's got to be on the level of an autopsy on roadkill. :P

Still, at least I'm getting somewhere right now... /shrug.

Lesse, how about some quick rhymes while I'm here, just because I'm so impressed with myself?

A Poem for Bosnia.

When fog shrouded quiet lay thick on the base,
When chopper lay silent and gun stayed in case,
I walked twixt the minefields and pondered on this,
Did you learn from the killing? Did your war bring you bliss?

Your cities lay ruined, your fields filled with graves,
For Glory and Honor! For Purity! Knaves!
You slaughtered, you pilaged, you raped and you killed.
Have you got what you longed for? Is it all that you willed?

Your war brought in armies from countries afar
To stop all the killing, to save what you mar.
Now your skies hold our choppers, your roads hold our tanks.
And your armies are guarded by our green clad ranks.

I've seen Sarajevo, it's bomb blasted streets.
I've seen Sniper Alley, and Tito's Elites.
Grandmothers live huddled in burned out apartments.
The buildings are covered in scars and great rents.

I've flown over the country, seen village and farm
Layed waste, burned and empty, by all of your harm.
So tell me dear Serb, dear Croat, dear ass?
This war that we ended... was it worth it, that pass?

*****************************

Heh. Ok. That was not what I set out to write...

I dunno. I've had Bosnia on my mind alot, lately. Been home 2 months now. Been back with my wife and children, my friends... And I wake up and remember the fog... the quiet. I miss solving problems on aircraft that will be needed that afternoon for missions who's result I'll never know. I miss knowing I'm doing something... I don't know... meaningful, I guess.

Ok. Enough of that. Too depressing.

2003-06-05T19:12:00.000-07:00

I get inspired at the wierdest times.

I'm sitting in the truck on the way home from Reno and get the itch to work on more music.

I decided to try to write a hymn to Gaia, and am just going nowhere (at 85MPH...) when WHAM! An entire song, complete with lyrics and melody strike out of the blue. So I jot them down and even get harmony started on it before the battery runs out.

Only one problem. This one is deffinately PG-13.

I really like it, and want to play it in CL, but I'm not sure I'd avoid either being lynched by a mother who's 10 year old daughter saw me play it, or cause that 65 year old clanner to die of a heart attack.

Maybe I'm overreacting. You be the judge. Here's the words:

**********************************

Come lay by my side my dearest, my bride
Come lay in your lovers embrace.
I would look on the story that’s revealed in it’s glory
By the look on my dear lover’s face.

For the days of hereafter will be filled with laughter
From the children we soon shall create
And I’ll sit there beside you as I now lay astride you
And watch as they play till it’s late.

As our passion enfolds us and our embrace holds us
We cry out in greatest of joys.
For our marriage has started what never shall be parted
And we sleep, and we dream of our boys.

Oh we dream of our daughter, we her mother and father
Who will raise her to fine maidenhood.
And she’ll marry a fine lad, who will hold her and be glad
And she’ll know the joy of motherhood.

Oh you sleep there tonight, oh awake to delight
Oh awaken to the feel of my kiss!
For I’ll fill you with my love while the stars watch from above
And we’ll learn together of bliss.

*****************************

Heh. Who says Sylvan's can't write anything that's not depressing. We do racy as well. :P

2003-06-04T17:28:00.000-07:00

I hate my job.

Don't get me wrong, I travel well. In fact I enjoy travel. Seeing different places and facing a different set of issues needing solving, that I like.

But the job sucks. I spend alot of time on the top of ladders. Have I mentioned I dislike heights? I have to, from this precarious position, throw strings and cables across the drop ceilings of stores. First off, the leverage sucks. Now i overcome this with a slingshot and lead weight. Of course, the ricochetes are... disturbing. Fortunately none of them have bounced of my head while on a ladder 20 feet up... Second, have you seen what it's like up there? Filthy filthy filthy. I spend several hours a day breathing in clouds of dust, insulation, and whatnot. I end up wearing what I don't breath. Ick. I figure the job has probably taken 5 to 10 years off my life. There's these wires that are used to suspend the false ceiling. The ends are sharp. Ow. Then there's the schedual. I was supposed to get home tonight. Instead it'll be tomorrow night. All because we don't have a piece of test equipment Boise assured us we won't need for a test that will only take 5 minutes. :P This, incidentally, is par for the course.

I need a new job.

I put in for a tech position in Salt Lake. It'd be doing the same thing as a civilian I do for the guard. Pays $40,000. Almost double my income. Of course, I want to move away from the desert, but for an additional $18,000 I can live with it. If i don't hear from them in the next 3 weeks, I'll figure that 5 years experience, 8 of it in combat conditions, wasn't interesting to them.

I've also been looking for positions in Oregon, Washington, and even Alaska. Unfortunately, so far, the only thing i qualify for is a position in Corrections. My wife and I agree we have little interest in that. I may be a type A personality, but I really don't find prison environments interesting enough to take a job that doubles your risk of heart attack or other stress related ailaments.

So I'm still looking...

I've made up my mind about one thing, though. If I don't get a decent job by December, I'm going active duty. I just hope i can convince the Army to let me reclass. Armament dogs in the active army spend around 6 months a year deployed, and their "at home" time is spent in the field 2 weeks in 4. It'd be nice to be home more than 3 months a year total. Of course, the guard has cost me almost 2 years in 5 so far anyway, so what's the difference?

Sigh.

Anyone hiring?

2003-06-02T23:26:00.000-07:00

Got this little questionaire from Ayella's Blog...

-- Name: James
-- Birth date: 8 Feb 1973
-- Birthplace: Travis Airforce Base
-- Current Location: Normally? Boise ID. Now? Reno NV.
-- Eye Color: Brown
-- Hair Color: Brown with elements of blond and red, possibly a little grey in the moustache.
-- Height: 5’9”
-- Righty or Lefty: Right
-- Zodiac Sign: Who cares? I sure don’t.

LAYER TWO: (What’s with this layer thing?)
-- Your heritage: Irish, English, German. If I got a temper I come by it honestly, I mean, the fighting Irish, the folk who conquered half the world, and the folk started two world wars? Come on…
-- The shoes you wore today: Tennis shoes. (Sure beats combat boots.)
-- Your weakness: Um, don’t ask. You really don’t want to know.
-- Your fears: Betrayal, proving inadequate to the task…
-- Your perfect pizza: Bar-B-Que chicken from Rocky Mountain Pizza Co.
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: Get a job that actually pays worth a damn.

LAYER THREE: (How do I get off this damn elevator?)
-- Your most overused phrase on AIM: AIM? I can’t stand AOL. Not touching it. However, on ICQ I use =D to excess.
-- Your first waking thoughts: Dear God, not another day…
-- Your best physical feature: I’m told my eyelashes are to die for. Me, I dunno. They get in the way a lot.
-- Your most missed memory: Don’t ask. That’s mine, and mine alone. Sorry.

LAYER FOUR: (FORE! Whack!)
-- Pepsi or Coke: Sprite. Doctor says no to caffeine…
-- McDonald's or Burger King: Ugh. Neither. The grease leaves a hell of an aftertaste.
-- Single or group dates: Date? Date? Wassat?
-- Adidas or Nike: Shopko. I can’t afford that over priced crap anyway. Besides, in all honesty, I think I like my boots better anyway. Cochran IIs. Very cozy, for a combat boot.
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Long island.
-- Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla. I’m weird that way…
-- Cappuccino or coffee: If it’s got to be coffee, make it a triple shot espresso. Vanilla, Carmel, and Irish Cream.

LAYER FIVE: (I spy with my little eye… something annoying!)
-- Smoke: Not a habit I’ve gotten into, nor do I care to start. It’s expensive, stinks, and ain’t to healthy.
-- Cuss: Fuckin A. I’m in the god damn U.S. Fuckin Military. Why the hell you askin’, cumbucket? Shit…
-- Sing: Yes. A lot.
-- Take a shower everyday: Often twice. The way I sweat and the job I have? Ugh.
-- Do you think you've been in love: Depends on how you define it. Gimme detailed questions here, people.
-- Want to go to college: Went. Left. May go back someday. Maybe.
-- Liked high school: Never went. Too damn smart to waste my time doing such a stupid thing.
-- Want to get married: Am. Almost 10 years now. Should have waited a few years, in retrospect, but I keep my promises.
-- Believe in yourself: How do you mean?
-- Get motion sickness: Nope.
-- Think you're attractive: Do I think I’m attractive? Do I care?
-- Think you're a health freak: No. Not even close. I have 15 lbs too much, and don’t exercise. Oh, and don’t want to see what I eat…
-- Get along with your parent(s): Yes. I’m sure I disappoint them, but they don’t mention it.
-- Like thunderstorms: Yep. May not be better than sex, but definitely a primeval thrill.
-- Play an instrument: Uh… I sing… I write music for Clan Lord…

LAYER SIX: (Six of one, half dozen of the other…)
In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: Some.
-- Smoked: No. Don’t do that.
-- Done a drug: No. Hell no. You want to fuck yourself up permanently, be my guest. But don’t expect any pity from me.
-- Made Out: Only made out? What a tame question.
-- Gone on a date: Date? Date? Wassat?
-- Gone to the mall?: I haven’t been to a mall in about a year and a half…
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: Nasty things… gimme a belly ache.
-- Eaten sushi: Um… no. Only thing gross I eat is steak. Really, really rare steak. I mean lukewarm, purple in the middle steak. Yum.
-- Been on stage: Heh. Minored in Drama. You figure it out.
-- Been dumped: In the last month? Heh. Not in ten years. Which really surprises me at times…
-- Gone skating: Total waste of a good pair of ankles, you ask me.
-- Made homemade cookies: No… Good idea though. Snickerdoodles…
-- Gone skinny dipping: Been a couple years, actually. But I sleep nude, of scandalous behavior is what you want…
-- Dyed your hair: Never have. Not that vain. (Hi ‘Yella. )
-- Stolen anything: No. I have many bad habits, that’s not one.
-- You sound boring: Sure… The fun parts of my life aren’t cleared for public release. =D

LAYER SEVEN (I still don’t get this whole layer thing.)
Ever...
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: Who hasn’t?
-- If so, was it mixed company: Course. That’s the point! Wouldn’t be much fun otherwise.
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: So drunk I’ve lost memories a time or two…
-- Been caught "doing something": Heh. You could say that.
-- Been called a tease: been called a lot worse than that.
-- Gotten beaten up: Not really. I never fought fair. Made me an unpopular choice…
-- Shoplifted: No. See that stealing thing above.
-- Changed who you were to fit in: Fit in? Why? I don’t like people enough to bother trying to fit in.

LAYER EIGHT: (Ate what? Yum…)
-- Age you hope to be married: Married at 20… I rushed in… /shrug.
-- Numbers and Names of Children: 4 daughters, Shenandoah, Maria, Honor, and Jamie.
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: I no longer dream of weddings. /shrug
-- How do you want to die: I don’t want to die. But if I must, I want it to be worth something.
-- Where you want to go to college: Hah!
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: Content. Won’t happen though. I’ve never been content a day in my life, why start now?
-- What country would you most like to visit: I’ve visited several. I always come back home…

LAYER NINE: (Wasn’t it the 9th layer of hell I was assigned to? Maybe it was eight. Course I came out very high on all of them in that test…)
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: None. Aint worth it to me.
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: I don’t. I’m sure there are those out there trustworthy… but I don’t know them.
-- Number of CDs that I own: beats me.
-- Number of piercings: None. Can’t wear them on duty, and not interested anyway.
-- Number of tattoos: None yet. But if I get the cash I want a tribal, and maybe a dragon… maybe an AH-64…
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: Beats me. I’ve never kept track.
-- Number of scars on my body: I am a scar. Big walking scar. /shrug.

2003-06-01T10:11:00.000-07:00

Heh.

So last night I was doing a late hunt into some truly dangerous turf. No biggie, bben there, done that. But my partner on this little trip was watching HBO. Do you know what they show at 1AM (Pacific) on HBO? It was very hard to pay attention to Pitch noids when that was going on in the background. Yeesh.

Saw X-Men 2 yesterday. Had to laugh at thaat ending. Heehee. Oh, and i think I'm in love with Mystique. Damn she's evil.

2003-05-31T21:07:00.000-07:00

A big thanks to Ayella for fixing my Blog. I am a total dufus and couldn't get comments working. She volunteered to clean it up and get it working! Hoody Hoo! Muchas Gras!

2003-05-31T18:32:00.000-07:00

I can't get comments to work! Argh!

2003-05-31T00:44:00.000-07:00

Ahem. Test. Test. This thing on?

Anywho... welcome to my totally senseless blog. Just a forum for me to rant. Nothing more, nothing less. In this blog I plan to put my personal thoughts. In other folks blogs or in other public forums I try to be polite. Not here. So if you don't like foul language, inuendo, or any other form of fu... er, depravity, this is not the place for you. Anyway, on to rant number 1.

Well, this has been fun... I'm in Reno, Nevada on business. The boss is paying for the hotel. He has strictly forbidden any work whatsoever on Saturday. There are Casinos and shows everywhere, and I... am damn near broke.

There aint no justice.

Heh.